Not having anything better to do while we waited, we pulled out some food and had a snack. Terry sulked the whole time, not even bothering to stop Gregor as the fighter started trying to teach the gunslinger’s little robots how to fight hand to hand. If I had been in a better mood, the whole sight might have been kinda funny, but at the time, I really just didn’t have it in me to laugh at the absurd sight.
After about twenty minutes, Burin and Emily appeared at the edge of the clearing, the girl looking, well, like I probably looked any time I had to go face my parents after I knew I’d messed up. She seemed to be keeping Burin between herself and me.
I sighed, then smiled at her. “Emily, come here,” I commanded softly. She looked at me hesitantly, then at Burin, who nodded. She dragged the dwarf with her, ready to jump behind him at any moment in case I started yelling at her. I hugged her, surprising her. “Come on, Dumbo,” I said. “We have work to do.”
“Y-You’re not still mad?” she asked.
I patted her head. “I said what I needed to say. Let’s leave it at that.”
We returned to the clearing and used the dagger to remove another layer of the doll, which cause Vigliv to reappear and begin to speak once more. “The death of Baba Yaga is no small thing, and you have succeeded in finding it where none have before. Now that you have secured her death, however, you must also locate and obtain her life. Although Baba Yaga hid her mortality away so death could not find her, to be more than a walking corpse, she must still have life. To this end, she ensured that a wellspring of life would flow in an ever-renewing fountain for her purposes. Guarding and protecting this source of life she tasked to her daughters, the Queens of Irrisen. After one hundred years of rule, these queens rejoin Baba Yaga and take up the responsibility of ensuring that her wellspring of life never runs dry. Now you must face the queens of old to reclaim Baba Yaga’s life and escape with your own as well.”
That wasn’t ominous at all.
“It’s mine and I want it! Get it back from them—they can’t have it! I’ll tell you if you’re getting close. Go now, into the wyrm’s maw!” Baba Yaga’s voice demanded from within the doll.
So, because we’ll do anything to save the world, apparently, we located the corpse of a frost wyrm and walked into its gaping mouth. For some reason, it seemed appropriate to send in Burin first – likely because if this thing was going to eat us, it’d definitely be unable to resist chomping on him first – and we watched as he teleported away. That was good enough for me, so I followed, as did the others.
We were in another wooded area, and a quick search led us to a cottage, to no one’s surprise. On the porch was the crumpled form of a dead dybbuk, as well as a powerfully enchanted besom – look, yes, it’s a s!~*ty broom made of twigs tied to a bigger stick. But I’m not going to write that every time, so we’re calling it a besom. And I don’t mean that it was a little powerful. This was an artifact level piece of equipment. I’ve seen enchanted planes with less magic in them than this twig broom.
Naturally, as a group of highly responsible adults, we allowed the child to grab it.
The inside of the cottage was a battlefield. Someone had gotten here ahead of us and had destroyed everything defending the house. Ensorcelled mannequins, the dybbuk outside, another animated stove, and even a jotund troll had fallen to their might.
Yes, Gregor skinned the troll. I don’t even know why anyone feels the need to question that at this point. Just assume that if something is skinnable, he skinned it. It’ll save time.
Tracks from those who came before us led into a closet. Burin investigated it, determining that there was a hidden path beneath the floor. So we all went in to investigate it. The closet was surprisingly spacious. I mean, it’s not anywhere near the size of either of my closets, but it was big enough for all of us to comfortably fit.
Gregor tried punching through the floor, only to find that it was enchanted to the point of complete resistance to his attacks. So Emily tried smacking it with the s$!+ty broom.
Have you ever been in a strange closet with several of your mismatched travel companions, only to suddenly find the floor missing and fall nearly fifty feet before you remember you can fly just in time to slow yourself before you crash to the ground of an icy cave another hundred feet below? Yeah, I can check that one off my bucket list.
Once we dusted ourselves off, we found at least some of those who got here before us. A half dozen men in livery marking them as Queen Elvanna’s elite forces, and they’d died fighting ice elementals. But footprints showed that at least a few others had survived and made it further into the cave.
So, we followed them. Into a magma chamber. Why would the Dancing Hut have a magma chamber in it? I don’t know. I’m not a crazy witch. I mean, I might be going crazy. And I can cast magic. But I’m not a witch. I don’t have a patron. Well…no, Godmother doesn’t count. She unlocked my powers. She didn’t give them to me. Not a witch.
Well, anyway. More of the expedition had fallen fighting a fire giant. But it was clear at least one or two had made it further. So, after Gregor was done skinning him and a couple hellhounds, we followed the trail.
We walked right into something kinda kinky. There was a handmaiden devil with a witch in her tentacle cage, and she had a couple Erinyes helping her torment the witch in ways I’m not gonna describe. Suffice it to say Burin reached over and covered Emily’s eyes.
They were so wrapped up in their “fun” that they didn’t seem to notice our arrival, so we struck first, unleashing a flurry of attacks so devastating that the enemies didn’t have time to react. I knelt by the witch, who begged for death. Which Terry gladly granted.
Burin tried to protest, saying that the kind thing to do would have been to heal her and show mercy. “We came to Irrisen to kill witches, remember, Burin?” Terry asked. “That’s what you kept telling everyone ever since we got here. She was a witch. She’s clearly working for Elvanna. So, she had to die.”
Burin was going to protest, but then thought about it. “I guess you have a point. At least her pain is ended.”
“Unless she went to Hell,” Emily said before she started heading towards the door on the far end of the chamber.
Someone needs to get that girl some therapy.
Maybe all of us need it, after what came next. In the chamber that followed, we finally discovered the truth of what Baba Yaga was doing with her deposed daughters. She was turning them into undead to guard this wellspring of her lifeforce. A hundred years of rulership followed by an eternity of service.
I’d have been angry too.
Over my time adventuring, my powers have developed considerably. From my “well, I don’t mind a little cold” at the beginning to full on immunity to the cold. And thank God for that. I’m pretty sure the ray of cold spell that the undead cast on me would have had the potential to kill me if not. And from what I understand of them, Winter Witches can usually bypass such resistances. To the point that they can slay white or silver dragons, or even ice elementals with their magic.
That suggests that Baba Yaga had drained them of much of their power before turning them into what they were. Not only were they the guardians of the wellspring, but perhaps the source that filled it in the first place.
You know, I’m really starting to wonder if maybe we should leave the old witch all locked up, kill her daughter and let the spell she’s started take its course. Daddy would be able to fix it later. Sure, a lot of people would die. But in the long run, maybe that was the least bad option.
I am far too young to have this kind of moral decision before me. The hardest decision I should be considering is whether I can make it to some kind of exam if I do this keg-stand, or if I should just finish my bottle and call it a day. But no…I just HAD to go on an adventure.
And I’m not complaining about that part. As scary as it has been, it has been great. I don’t mind the danger, or the hard work. I just don’t want to be responsible for the lives of millions if I make a bad call, is all. Though, I guess, with an adventure like this, if you screw up and die, whatever bad call you made that led to your death potentially affects the lives of millions anyway.
I guess I really didn’t think this one through. It was too late to have second thoughts now. I’d rolled the dice, and so far, we were up. So…let it ride, I guess?
Terry hit the youngest of the undead queens with his rocket launcher and was hit with a magical counterattack in response. Meanwhile, Burin transformed into a dragon, Gregor went into melee and Emily…
“Angles!” the girl shouted. “I choose you!”
One of these days, I really need to explain to her that it’s spelled ‘Angels’, and that bralanis aren’t angels. They’re azatas. Either way, I was grateful for their healing magic, as the undead had realized I was immune to ice and had struck me with other attacks. And a couple of them were hitting Gregor with enchanted staves, which looked like it hurt.
Burin ripped them apart, one after the other. Terry headshotted a couple of them, and Gregor ended up managing a two for one decapitation with his throwing hat. Have to admit, that was kind of cool. Also, I burned a couple to ash, because you simply do not get away with throwing ice spikes at me.
Once it was over, Terry whistled as he gleefully cut out the shriveled hearts of the undead. Meanwhile, his daughter had her azatas stand at parade attention and gave them a pep talk of sorts. Thankfully, Gregor decided against skinning them. And Burin helped me feed whatever valuables we could find into the box.
Once we used the power of the wellspring to break the seal on the penultimate layer of the doll, Baba Yaga unleashed a tirade on us, outlining every single one of our faults in her eyes like a pissed off mother-in-law, jumping back and forth between us as new thoughts struck her. I won’t dignify what she said by repeating it here, but I did find the final part interesting.
“…and you smell like feet. I’m stuck in a doll and I can smell it from here! And you, dwarf…suffice it to say that you had better be grateful that I am satisfied with our deal, or I would have it in my mind to chain you to a rock and let a giant crow feed on your liver for eternity as punishment for the sound of your voice and the completely asinine ways you’ve handled encounters with your enemies.”
Burin shrugged. “It’s okay if you’re upset at us. After all, our faults are what make us unique.”
Terry eyed him warily. “Deal? You’re hiding something. I knew you had to be evil.”
Burin looked at him, his face completely devoid of emotion. “You’re right. I am hiding something. I really was the warden the whole time,” he said completely deadpan before turning and winking at me as he walked over to Emily, who was struggling to hold back a laugh.
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