We used the crown to open the next layer of the doll, and once more Vigliv emerged from the tree. She cleared her throat and spoke to us. “Your bravery has won through, even against the treachery of those who would steal your prize. But your quest is not yet done. You have recovered Baba Yaga’s fate and her power, but now you must seek out her death. As she rose in power from a mere mortal, Baba Yaga used great magic to ensure that death would not be able to swiftly find her through misfortune or betrayal.

“Baba Yaga placed her death in an athame, a witch’s knife, which she then hid in a chest within a corpse, which she buried under an oak tree on the mystical island of Buyan. Even if Baba Yaga was slain, her death would still need to be recovered and released back into her body in order for her to truly die. And so Baba Yaga plucked the island from the ocean and stored it in one of the many hidden realms of her hut so that none could stumble across it, and her death, without first facing her power.

“Now, to free Baba Yaga from her prison, you must go to Buyan, find her death, and bring it back here to her cauldron. She is gaining greater awareness as you free her and will be able to guide you to some extent; heed her counsel. Now go; the death of Baba Yaga awaits you.”

Baba Yaga sent us images, leading to another pool that would act as a portal. “This will put you in the vicinity of where you need to go, but it will still be a journey,” she told us. “There is no surety that you will end up on the correct island. You will need to search for the correct island, and locate my death.”

I considered it. “Is there any way to focus the teleportation effect and ensure we go where we need? That way we can get you out of there as quickly as possible?”

“Scrying usually allows teleportation to be more precise,” Burin offered.

Baba Yaga considered it. “You would need the assistance of one attuned to my death.”

“Mister Coffin?” Emily suggested. “I’ll go get him!”

She ran off to the hut, which was thankfully not too far away, and returned a few minutes later, dragging the daemon behind her. He seemed completely engrossed in the object in his hands… an old model portable gaming console. One that I’m pretty sure existed before Daddy was born.

“Can you help us aim this portal towards what we seek?” Burin asked.

“I am attuned to that which you would reclaim,” he answered. “If you have magic that would allow you to use that link to focus your travels, then I am fine with allowing you to use that connection.”

It wasn’t simple, but with Burin’s aid, we managed to make it work, and soon we were on a tropical island, right on the beach. It was right around sunset. Overhead, we spotted a group of winged beings flying towards. They landed about a hundred yards from us and brandished their weapons, shouting. “They want to know who we are and why we’re here,” Burin translated. “I’ll explain.”

And he proceeded to do so, in Aquan.

“Maybe I should learn that language,” Gregor quipped to Terry. “I am always curious what he is saying.”

As the dwarf spoke and gestured, it was clear that the winged humanoids were getting angrier. “I don’t think I’m getting through to them!” Burin wailed. He dropped his weapon and shield, trying to show them that he came in peace.

Terry tapped him on the shoulder. “Maybe try with that guy. He looks friendly.” We all followed where he was pointing and spotted a hideous creature that looked like a winged cyclops with an overbite flying just above the waves.

The other creatures realized what we were looking at and became alarmed, so Terry decided it wasn’t a friend of theirs and took a few shots. “When in Rome,” I said with a sigh, and launched a fireball at it as well. Then Gregor sprinted towards the water and leapt several hundred feet, punching the creature several times and knocking its lifeless corpse towards us, skipping it off the water like a stone and causing it to come to rest a few feet from us, before teleporting back to shore.

The fighter was looking rather ill and was covered in the enemy’s blood and bits. Emily, without saying anything, summoned a water elemental and had it begin hosing him off. Burin picked up his axe and took a swing, making sure the creature was dead, before waving at the humanoids and flashing his big, goofy grin.

The winged humanoids panicked as he approached. A couple of them broke and ran immediately, but one just cowered and began gibbering in several languages. One of which we recognized. “Hello!” Burin called out in the language of deep places and monsters. “We didn’t mean to frighten you. We’re just here looking for death!”

Dammit Burin. “What he means to say is that we’re here looking for an artifact related to the death of an ancient being,” I said, using my most soothing voice. “As long as you have no desire to stop us from searching for it, there’s no reason we can’t be friends.”

“You mean it?” one of the beings asked tentatively.

“I promise,” I said. “What was that thing we just fought? And by ‘we’, I mean mostly my friends. And by ‘fought’, I mean massacred.”

“It’s an agent of our enemies. We’ve been at war with them for as long as we can remember. Come, our queen can tell you more.”

These creatures, who reminded me of something I’d read about in Daddy’s books called maftets, sphinx-looking people who dwell in ruins, had a palace that was reminiscent of an open air palace from some movie about ancient Egypt.

Their queen, who was fairly hot, I’ll admit, explained that their ancient enemies risen from the waves two days ago and demanded she be sacrificed or they would slay everyone. With a show of force, the enemy had proven themselves capable of conquering the isle, so she was considering going to her fate in the morning in order to placate them.

Obviously, we offered our help. We were given a place to relax for the evening and treated as guests of honor. “Strange that we arrived just in time to be the big damn heroes. You think time travel is at play again?”

Gregor considered Terry’s question. “We did travel through time to face Rasputin, so it wouldn’t be too surprising. Or, perhaps they’re playing through a repeating loop, and we’re just at the beginning of the loop.”

“That could create a time paradox,” Burin chimed in.

“What’s a time paradox?” Emily asked.

Burin launched into his explanation, and it was fairly interesting. Interesting enough that I missed what Gregor and Terry were arguing about. In fact, I barely even registered the argument until Terry pulled his gun and fired. Gregor’s hands blurred as they moved, and he struck the bullet out of the air with his metal bracers.

The bullet ricocheted, striking Terry’s cheek and leaving a rivulet of blood. I rolled my eyes at the men being idiots, and Emily got up, the nanite gun in hand. “You shot yourself in the face again,” she said to Terry.

“He’s getting better at it,” Gregor quipped. At that point, I made the decision that it was best everyone went to bed, and surprisingly, no one argued with me.

In the morning, we went over the plan once more. The queen would act as if she were going through with offering her life to the enemy, and we’d lie in ambush. Bursting out of hiding, we’d down the foes before they had a chance to react.

There was only one dwarf-sized problem with that plan.

As soon as he saw the arriving foes – some nucklavees and water elementals – Burin stepped out of hiding and called out in the language of water elementals. Terry sighed. “What is he saying?” he asked his daughter.

“Just a hello. He seems really happy to finally find someone who speaks that language.”

Negotiations broke down quickly, and we immediately resorted to violence. Terry fired off a rocket, Emily summoned a giant squid. Then Burin froze the surface of the ocean for a mile.

Emily was not happy about “Squidward” getting frozen.

Gregor teleported into the sky and slammed into the ice, shattering it and sending icy shards into our foes, killing them. Emily gasped. “Guys, Squidward says something is coming!” Guess it survived after all.

The thing that came from beneath the waves looked like the unholy mixture of the Loch Ness Monster and a big octopus. It was massive. And as it struck, I remembered something from my parents’ adventures. This thing was what Daddy called a Mother of Oblivion, one of Lamashtu’s servants.

The Mother breathed a cloud of gas at Gregor and Terry as Terry fired a rocket at her. I cast a spell, imbuing the others with the power of flame. Gregor punched himself in his confusion and Terry babbled incoherently. Meanwhile, Emily must have gotten a whiff, and teleported behind me to cower in fear.

I didn’t have time to react, as a rusalka, a type of fey associated with drownings, came out of nowhere and attacked me. I did what I could to protect myself, but I couldn’t flee with Emily there.

The Mother struck Squidward, who was attacking her, and sent him flying onto the beach, where he landed with an undignified splat. Burin charged to help, managing to cut down the fey and calm Emily.

In the end, Terry and Gregor got ahold of themselves and the Mother fled in terror of our might as they began focusing on her. But that would have been too easy for her, and Gregor gave chase, managing to hit her one last time. He says she sunk to the bottom of the depths, and was probably dead.

The queen was pretty impressed at what we’d done, and gladly told us of a legend about a tree where a witch’s death was said to live. So Terry loaded his gun and we made our way over, certain that the death of the Mother would give the maftets’ foes pause.

We approached the tree, which did look suspicious. Emily summoned a fire elemental to threaten hit, proving that the fruit does not at all fall from the tree. “We’re just here for the death. You behave and we won’t burn you.” The tree didn’t answer. “Okay, I’m coming to get it. Don’t try anything.”

Before I could stop her, she marched forward, and was promptly grabbed by one of the skinny, willow-like branches of the tree. Her fire elemental attacked, but to no avail as the tree brought the girl towards its gaping maw.

Burin acted quickly, casting a wall of ice inside the tree’s mouth as Gregor charged it, his fist sending splinters flying. I created magical, spiky balls of force and threw them at the tree, causing a fair bit of damage as well.

Terry…just sat there. “Seems like a good time to call your mom, huh?” he taunted Emily.

She responded by teleporting herself out of the tree’s grasp as Gregor continued his assault, finishing it off. She then stuck her tongue out at her father before dismissing her elemental.

You know, I’m really glad I never went through this phase. I’m pretty sure Daddy would have made me look like an idiot. But where Terry and Emily were concerned, in a battle of wits and wills, they were likely evenly matched. Still, it was odd that his hatred of trees hadn’t caused him to act. I guess forcing Emily to call on her mother was more important than killing a tree.

“Now,” Terry said, “Let’s just see what it was guarding.” He walked up to the base of the tree, where a coffin laid, and pried it open. “Holy s#*$!” he shouted, immediately swinging his crowbar at the contents several times.

I got closer and realized he was attacking some kind of large doll. It seemed inanimate, so there was no threat, so I decided it wasn’t worth trying to stop him. Once he was done, he stood there, catching his breath, the doll’s crushed eye in one hand and a dagger in the other.

“Good, you have the athame,” Baba Yaga’s voice said. “There is a cave nearby that offers passage back. Beware the guardian. But do not try to evade it. You need to dip the blade in its blood before returning.”

The guardian turned out to be a khala, a type of three headed dragon. Emily conjured a T-rex, which grappled it in its mouth and held it. Gregor took the opportunity to get a fresh skin. Real fresh. Like, still alive. Terry didn’t even bother to kill it when he stabbed it with the knife. And Burin reasoned that maybe it had to be alive when it was stabbed, since the blade turned gold when Terry did so.

Yeah. I’m surrounded by sociopaths and idiots. I wonder if this is how Daddy felt when he was adventuring.

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