I’ve been accused of holding bards in contempt, and, well, it’s true. The half-assed way they cobble together their magic irritates me. Sorcerers, at least, are simply playing the hand fate dealt them, so it’s understandable how limited they are. But bards willfully and lazily wield magic without any understanding is wasteful and extremely sub-optimal. If you have the talent, put in the damn work.
So what if I take a little perverse pleasure in recreating some of a bard’s most beloved tricks as magical items as a show of the supremacy of true wizards over half-assed fledgelings? I’m allowed. Show me one thing a bard can do that I can’t recreate as an inanimate object and maybe I’ll listen to arguments about the value of bards beyond entertainment.
In preparation for my battle with Merlin, I had created one such magical item. And it was far beyond anything some spoony bard could do, capable of projecting one of their key powers across the entire globe, potentially. So suck on that, lute boys.
It only took me two days to make it, so I spent the next several days working on a special project for the government. If I was successful, Congress wanted to bring the world back to the previous political status quo and get the economy back on an upward trajectory again. Can’t say I really blamed them.
Even with so much to do, I was a bit antsy. I needed Merlin to show himself so I could get this over with. But he was being careful. Even believing that there was no way we’d know what he looked like, he was careful not to go out in public if he didn’t have to.
But at last, my bait got a bite. I’d put out a number of statements about how my new fusion generators would not only end the strife in the US, but would be able to bring peace to the entire world. Since the wizard wanted chaos, he couldn’t have that.
There were two attempts on my first prototype, but the security I’d put in place repelled them. I did my best to make it apparent that they would need a serious attack, or they’d never get in. In truth, I hoped I’d catch Merlin in the act and I could expose him there, but he was still too cagey, even for that.
No, instead, he took a different route. He accelerated his endgame a bit. It was time for the civil war to kick off in earnest.
The national leader of The New Patriots came on television – they hacked into the emergency broadcast system to make sure everyone saw it – to announce that they had captured a number of members of The Black Bloc and were sentencing them for their crimes, since the government was “no longer fit for purpose”. Merlin himself was present, though skulking in the background.
It was showtime. Juiz activated my special bardic replacement device, a tunneling worm that made its way into every multimedia device in the world and played a video embedded with bardic magic. It would strengthen the wills of those who saw it, and give them a chance to break free from any kind of mind control or magical suggestion.
The video was simple. It was me, taking a seat behind a desk. “Greetings, people of the world,” I said. “I believe we need to have a chat.” I paused and considered. “Perhaps, first, I should recall the words of Oscar Wilde. ‘Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.’ Well, it is eminently important that I tell you the absolute truth here, so allow me to don a mask.” I put on a Guy Fawkes mask, because I’m a complete dork. “Much better. Now, what was I saying?
“Oh, right. The truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn’t there? Bitter rifts and divisiveness, the use of the truncheon, in lieu of conversation, intolerance of the very concept that others might disagree with our own political leanings. I’ve been in an underground bunker for about a decade, so when I returned, I had to ask, who’s to blame? What caused this? I bet many of you have been wondering as well.
“The truth is, if you’re looking for the guilty, you need only look as far as the nearest mirror. Look, I know why you did it. I understand. I really do. You were afraid. And why shouldn’t you have been? Things seemed so terribly out of place, nothing was as you understood that it should be. Nobody panics when something terrible happens as long as it’s all part of the plan, all normal, status quo. But if things seem to no longer fit that mold, suddenly everyone LOSES THEIR MINDS.
“Well, certainly that has happened. And it was accelerated by the rise of a few charismatic and ruthless individuals who have whipped the masses up for their own benefit. And this was further exacerbated by those in power making several key blunders. One little election created the powder keg, but we were still waiting for a spark.
“But, perhaps, it is unfair for me to tell you that all of this was your fault. I can’t even place the blame on those who used the opportunity for their own gain. No. Just as you were their puppets, so too were they puppets of but one man. That has changed. At long last, we’ve found him, and he will be brought to justice.
“Even as I speak, the process of his apprehension has begun and I will return your broadcast to that momentarily. But, before I do, I must warn you of something. Something vital. The world is not as you know it. There are things that have been hidden from you. Things that will be revealed momentarily. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that there was no such thing as magic.
“Well, let me tell you something. As of this moment, everything you thought you knew means precisely dick.”
<You know, I bet you could have shoehorned in at least a dozen more movie references if you really tried.>
<Even I have my limits.>
Meanwhile, I was walking my way right into the hijacked press conference. No one even noticed me. It didn’t hurt that I’d changed my appearance, of course. But aside from that, I didn’t really do much else. I just kinda walked in like I belonged.
They were all too busy watching the monitor to pay attention. And when it finished, there was a strange silence as the video finished. It took a full twenty seconds before someone finally asked, “What on Earth is he talking about?” Others looked like they were in a daze, the magic hold over them beginning to fade.
I took a bite of an apple, crunching loudly over the questioning murmur. Everyone turned to me. “Now, that is a good question,” I said, my mouth half full. “But I’d be willing to bet someone in this room can tell you.” I pointed to a woman at random. “You, maybe? No, you’re not the one.” Then a man. “Perhaps you? No, but we’re getting warmer, aren’t we? You can’t remember a lot of what’s happened recently, right? Almost as if someone magically altered your memories. Hrm. But if not you, then who?”
I made a show of looking around. “Who exactly are you?” someone asked.
I answered him by holding a finger up, telling him to wait a moment. “Ah, yes. There you are. Over by the door, trying to inch your way outside without anyone noticing. Oi! I’m talking to you! The middle-aged guy in the bomber jacket!” No answer. “Well, if you’re gonna be a prick about it…”
I cast a spell and a bolt of lightning leapt from my fingertips, striking the wall just above my target. Everyone in the room just stared at me as if… well, as if I’d just conjured a bolt of lightning from my fingertips.
My target turned around, slowly and deliberately. “What do you want?” he asked. It was clear that he was annoyed.
“What I want is for everyone but you and me to leave the room,” I said. “NOW.” I punctuated my command by using a spell to shatter one of the large window panes. Everyone was suddenly very aware that we were about forty stories up. Wisely, they fled.
“Well, we’re alone now. I must be honest. It took you and your government a lot longer to find me than I had expected. So now you’re going to tell me everything you can about your people.” It was working out in my favor. He cast a spell, completely forgetting about the cameras in the room.
And it was a completely useless attempt. I had a wayfinder clipped to my belt, with a particular kind of ioun stone nestled within. His mental domination spell was completely ineffective. Unfortunately, he knew that, otherwise I really could have used that to my advantage. “Nice try,” I said.
“That’s fine,” he said as his eyes began glowing blue. “But I am intrigued by the number of magical items you seem to be carrying. So tell me, did they strap everything they had to their least incompetent wizard?”
“Something like that,” I said. “So, will you surrender quietly, or do I have to bring you down the hard way?”
“Oh, I’d like to see you try,” he said, hitting me with a fireball. I knew him well enough that I’d already warded myself against it, so it had no effect.
“I bet you would, Merlin Stormcrow,” I said as I retaliated by conjuring up a small wall of water, which I used to shove him out of the window. The surprise on his face at my use of his name was enjoyable, as was the startled look he had as he went sailing over the edge.
As he fell, I began casting other protective spells – all low level magic, but it’s amazing what you can do with a little preparation and the right low level magic. I wasn’t the least bit surprised when he flew back in through the shattered window. In fact, I struck him with my fist, enhanced by magical force. He once more went flying through the air, but this time I went after him.
We hovered hundreds of feet over the streets of New York. “My, both a lightning bolt and magical flight. I may have underestimated your little agency. To think that you would have even one agent with access to both.”
He tried to dispel my flight spell, but I easily countered him. “You’ll find that I’m full of surprises.” Then I hit him with a blast of flame.
“You people are all the same,” he said. “It’s always direct combat magic and evocation with you. You should try something more effective.” Then he pulled out a rod and quick summoned a pair of large air elementals.
I countered with something he hadn’t seen before, conjuring a quintet of lantern archons using my own magic rod. Since Earth was protected from interference from any plane other than the First World – the fey do occasionally use elementals, so we had some experience with them – he never had an opportunity to witness something like this. No one really had. And he had no idea just how dangerous they could be, despite their size. Especially after I boosted their speed with another spell.
Beams of light immediately tore apart the closest air elemental. “Fascinating!” he laughed. “You must tell me, just what are these things?”
“Light elementals,” I lied.
“I’m looking forward to studying your spellbook once I’ve killed you,” he said before destroying all of my archons with a blast of chain lightning, one of his strongest spells. He also hit me, but I was able to resist the magic thanks to my magic coat.
I retaliated with another blast of lightning of my own, then quick conjured a dozen swords from my blood and launched them at him. They skewered him like a pincushion. I took immense satisfaction at the sight. “I believe I win,” I said. I knew it wasn’t over. I knew he had a backup plan. But he didn’t need to know that I knew.
“Not yet,” he said as the swords fell from his body. “But I do need a moment. KILL HIM!”
A figure streaked through the sky. I barely managed to bring up my gauntleted hand in time to deflect the crushing blow of a bastard sword. “You will all pay!” the knight shouted. “Everyone will pay for what was done to her!”
What the hell? I knew that voice. But that was impossible! “Percival?!” I shouted, kicking him away.
“You know my name, knave?! Then surely you played a part in the death of the dear Lady Rhoslyn!” Yep. He was trying to kill me because he thought I’d had a part in my own death.
You see, the old stories say that Percival was raised in the forest by his mother. That’s only half true. He actually grew up in a small elven village, which, I guess was in fact located in the forest. He had been the lone voice of reason during Camelot’s crusade against the elven people. And he absolutely adored me, like a little sister, almost.
Apparently Merlin had left out the tiny detail of having killed me himself. Typical. And I’d bet his control was enforced by magic, so there was little chance at reasoning with him.
But I had to try anyway. “Percival! You have to listen to me! Merlin was the one who killed her. He was the one who held the knife!”
“Lies! I will strike you down, deceiver!”
Dammit. I was going to have to kill someone who I had cared about long ago. I didn’t like that one bit. But it had to be done. I only hoped his soul could learn the truth after he died.
I only had to find a way to cast a spell while dodging his attacks and worrying about what Merlin was doing. It wasn’t going to be easy. Percival had learned how to fight enemy wizards in the war to protect the Britons. I wouldn’t say he was strong enough to stop me, but it was going to be a pain in the ass.
And then an angel appeared at my side. Her twin blade cut through the air and deftly drove back my knightly foe. “I’ve got this!” Aurora said. “Worry about the wizard!”
I’m pretty sure the entire world saw Aurora’s arrival and gasped in unified shock. As if the magic reveal wasn’t enough. Now we had to explain that angels were really a thing. Oh well, the damage was done, and at least her helm and metallic skin would hide her appearance well enough.
“Try to bring him down without killing him if you can!” I told her. “I’ll explain later!”
I turned my attention back to Merlin just in time for my flight spell to be dispelled. He followed up the dispel with a magically enhanced punch that sent me hurtling towards the ground.
It was all I could do to send out a blast of force of my own ahead of me, blowing a hole in the building just as I hit. To the naked eye, it would look like I’d hit the wall hard enough to slam through the concrete. I’d still hit pretty hard, but my magic boots actually cushioned much of the fall. “Juiz, shoot at Merlin,” I coughed. “You probably won’t be able to hit him, but it should be enough to keep him from attacking Aurora for a moment.”
“Acknowledged,” the AI’s voice responded.
“Don’t worry about me,” Aurora said over the comm. “The wizard cast some sort of spell to make himself a better fighter and pulled out a pair of black swords. He keeps saying something about them being as strong as Excalibur, whatever that is. I can handle both of them pretty easily.”
Kira appeared before me. “It’s time to stop playing with him. You’ve made your point. You’ve had time to study his magic. What have you found?”
“He’s limited to sixth tier magic and below. Same as back when we knew him before. He’s almost no threat to me. Even less now that he’s used a spell that will prevent him from casting in exchange for being a better fighter.” Even with that, I could probably handle him one-on-one in melee combat. His magical enhancement wouldn’t give him enough advantage to overcome my greater experience and training.
“Good. Kill him.”
“I thought I had. But he survived the blades.” Of course, I never thought those would kill him. But she didn’t need to know that at the moment.
<Jerk.>
“Then kill him harder.”
“Fine,” I said. “I’ll get right on that.”
“HE. HAS. MY. SWORDS,” she said slowly and deliberately, as if I was an idiot. And she wasn’t wrong. About the swords. I’m pretty sure I’m probably not an idiot most of the time. Anyway, I was almost certain that the blades he was wielding had once belonged to Cedwin Silverdew, Kira’s previous self, known to history as Mordred.
“I know. It’s not surprising, really. Excalibur was lost when they chucked it into that lake. But your swords were never accounted for. Don’t worry, it irritates me just as much as it irritates you.”
“Kyle, no more joking around. You’re going to kill him right now. And I’m not giving you a choice. Juiz, a little help?”
I wondered what she meant by that, but then I heard my own voice reverberating outside, synthesized and played by the speakers on my own power armor. “NARBERAL GAMMA! It’s time to show him the true power of Nazarick!”
“That’s unfair,” I protested. “You can’t use anime against me like that.”
“Tough. Now get out there and END HIM.”
“I’ll need to cast a few spells first.”
“Do what you need to, but don’t take too long.”
I began casting. I knew what spells I wanted to use when it was time to finish this. I just hadn’t been ready to finish toying with this person until Kira had forced my hand. I know that my hatred isn’t my own, but the baggage of one of many past lives, but I couldn’t help it. I was angrier than I’d perhaps ever been before.
First, I cast an extremely powerful illusion spell. Once I knew I was looking to face Merlin, I’d created it based on a weaker spell that creates a fifty foot radius area of illusion that mimics the depths of hell, but was much more powerful. Instead, it would cause an area miles in diameter to appear to become covered in thorny vines and other vegetation, as though nature had sprung up and overtaken the area entirely. It would also allow me some limited control over the illusion, so I could make the vines appear to do what I wanted.
I then cast several spells to boost my own power and reduce an enemy’s ability to hurt me. Then my clothing changed, becoming a beautiful hooded robe that framed my changing body. Delicate white gloves enveloped my slender fingers, and silver earrings hung from my now pointed ears, which now heard soft music playing as an ancient, melancholic song long lost to history echoed upon the light breeze.
I flew out of the hole in the wall and into the air, but to any observers, it appeared that I was standing upon an extending giant vine. “The time has come for a reckoning, Old Crow,” I said, my voice no louder than a normal speaking tone, but magically enhanced so it could be heard for miles if I wished it.
Seeing the power of nature, which had been the gift of magic inherent in Rhoslyn Silverdew’s blood, had given Merlin pause. Hearing my voice had startled him. But hearing me call him by my affectionate nickname had an even greater effect. “That’s impossible!”
“Did you think that a mere knife, not even of cold iron, could make wounds beyond the skill of my godmother, Old Crow? Did you think that you were greater than fair Titania? You, a mere human wizard, greater than the queen of the Fair Folk?”
“But… I…” he stammered.
I turned to the knight who was still fighting my wife and pulled back my hood. “Good Percival, please, stay your blade. You have been deceived by my former beloved’s treachery. Please stand aside while I give him the punishment he richly deserves.”
The young knight, taken aback by my mere presence, sheathed his sword immediately. “Of course, milady.”
“Thank you.” I then looked to Aurora. “Please, Angel, take Percival somewhere safe. I would hate for this vile creature to harm him in an attempt to upset me.” She nodded and they flew down to waiting government agents, who took him into custody without incident.
Merlin took advantage of my apparent distraction to attempt to attack me, charging forward in an attempt to stab me in the back. With his magic sealed by his transformation into a warrior, he had no other options.
But I was prepared. One of the new blades I’d created for Kira was in my hand, and instantly snapped together in time to block his attack. He might have enhanced his skills with magic, but I had been training with Aurora and my body still had muscle memory from Kira. I outclassed him even here.
“How?!” he asked.
“I invented this metal. Did you think I was incapable of making more?” I slashed at him, leaving a shallow cut from waist to collarbone. Before my eyes, it immediately began to heal. That was the final piece to the puzzle. “I see. You were the one who took Arthur’s sword belt.” It was a powerful magic item that protected Arthur from all wounds, but someone had stolen it, allowing Cedwin to defeat him at that final battle.
He sneered. “Yes, and now you know that you cannot defeat me. It cannot be removed unless I will it. It cannot be sundered, and it cannot be disenchanted! I have already won!”
“Cannot be disenchanted? Or are you merely too weak to disenchant it?”
“You think to scare me by insinuating that you have power beyond my own? Pathetic. I am the great Merlin, pinnacle of wizards!”
I laughed derisively. Then I cast a spell and spoke the word of power. “Disjunction.” I followed that up by immediately running him through.
“How?!” he gasped, as blood dripped from his lips.
“You are little more than a big fish in a small pond,” I answered. “But now this pond has no further need of you. Goodbye, old crow.” I cast another spell. “Disintegrate.”
And the dust that had been the body of the man I had loved in another life was carried off into the breeze as the Blades of Mordred fell over a hundred feet to the ground below, embedding themselves in the asphalt.
It was over. And the whole world had watched it all.
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