The ancient city of of Xin-Shalast, seat of power of the ancient Runelord of Greed, rests in a great valley within the shadow of Mhar Massif. The years hadn’t been entirely kind to the city. At some point, a volcanic eruption had buried approximately twenty nine percent of the city and a great jungle of lichen and assorted foliage had sprung up, likely fed from the nutrients provided by the eruption and watered by warm underground springs.
At least, that was the impression that I got as we flew into the city at last. I was a little surprised that the place didn’t reek of rotten eggs, all things considered. Volcanic springs often have an abundance of hydrogen sulfide. I could smell the lichen on the air, but nothing much beyond that. And surprisingly, there wasn’t much snow. There had been some outside of the city, but almost nothing here despite how cold it was.
Additionally, the city still held signs of opulence all around. Everything easily stolen had been looted, but there were still much larger valuable pieces. One house had a statue made of pure silver in front of it, and there was plenty of gaudy gold filigree around. And since the city looked large enough to hold hundreds of thousands of people – and a number of giants, if the size of some of the buildings were any indication – it suggested that there was likely millions of gold pieces worth of loot still lying around.
Of course, I wasn’t much focused on the scenery when we got there. “What the hell was that?!” I demanded of Lenn.
“THE GIANTS ARE DEAD!” he said happily.
“We were trying to get here undetected. We didn’t need to go attack them.”
“The. Giants. Are. Dead,” he repeated slowly, as if I was the idiot here.
“Yeah, and now the entire city is aware that we’ve arrived.”
Geo put his hand on my shoulder. “To be fair, Lenn didn’t cause the avalanche.”
He had a point. And at least he hadn’t used the tentacled hand. I spun around and looked at Paulie. “What the hell were you thinking?!”
It took him a moment to register that I was even talking. He looked up from his hand, which he had been deeply contemplating. “Me, brah?”
“Yes, you.”
“I was thinking I could go for some sausage covered in caramel right about now, brah.”
What. “Okay, obviously it wasn’t you. Can you get me the you that likes to light fires?”
“Yes. Wait. No.”
“No?”
“It’s broken, brah.”
“What’s broken.”
“My switch gland.”
“Your what?”
“That thing in my head that lets one of the other guys take over, brah. None of the others seems to know why either.”
That was a problem. “A side effect of the proximity to Leng?” Kira asked me silently.
“Probably,” I subvocalized. “Would you ask Samantha about that for me?” After she agreed to check, I returned my attention to Paulie. “Okay, can you ask him why he lobbed that fireball into the snow drift?”
“Sure, brah.” He contemplated his hand for a moment. After it was clear that he had forgotten what he was doing, I snapped my fingers at him. “Oh, right. Asking him.” A moment later, his attention focused back on us. “He wanted to see if the snow could burn, brah.”
Oh for the love of… “Okay, fine. Whatever. Let’s see if we can find somewhere to conceal ourselves until nightfall, then we’ll start searching. If we’re lucky, we can avoid further unnecessary fights.”
Might as well have asked “What could possibly go wrong?”
“Kyle!” Aurora said. “Enemy flyers at seven o’ clock!” She had taken to using that a lot quicker than I had expected, considering how rare mechanical clocks were on Golarion.
I glanced up at the incoming enemy. Seven winged kuchrimas, a type of lamia I’d read about in my studies of ancient Thassilon, were rapidly flying our way. The condor-like humanoids were wielding massive bows. I quickly pulled out the portable hole. “Juiz! We may need fire support!”
My powered armor jumped out of the magical quasi-dimension. “Acknowledged,” Juiz responded through the suit. “Targeting algorithms online. Rail gun batteries fully charged. Switching to HE rounds.”
Aurora drew her gun and Paulie had his bow in hand. “Fire judiciously, but take them out where you can. Lenntu, switch to slugs. The scatter rounds won’t be effective here. Lenn, Geo, keep an eye out for anything that comes close. These may not be the only enemies.” Then I thought of something. “Be on special watch for invisible giants.” Yeah, that might keep Lenn focused. Maybe.
Sounds like thunder rang through the air as our bullets filled the air. Shots struck true, but the Kuchrimas were giving as good as they were taking. We needed to bring them down before others arrived. I was actually getting paranoid about invisible giants, now that I had thought about it. Paulie, with a freaking bow, was actually the most effective attacker. But it wasn’t fast enough. What we needed at the moment was his fireballs. Not his bow and the celestial bow he’d conjured beside him, firing in unison with his shots.
So it was up to me to up the impact. I had to contribute more than my small arms fire. Time to bring out the real big guns. “Sophocles famously once said, ‘The dice of Zeus always fall luckily.’ Well, let’s see who the god of thunder favors, monsters!” I shouted. Then I cast my spell.
Lightning arced out from my fingers and struck the center-most kuchrima, then split and arced to the others around it. Six kuchrima fell from the sky, wisps of smoke trailing behind them. The last fell when Paulie, now able to bring himself to focus on the single remaining target, put an arrow right between her eyes. A perfect shot at over 350 feet. Firing upward. Damn.
“Yeah. I guess it’s us Zeus favors after all,” I quipped, getting grins from Lenntu and Aurora. Paulie had struck a Batman pose. So he was that one now.
Fun fact: A group of kuchrima is called a “gluttony”, since they’ll supposedly eat anything.
Not so fun fact: We had encountered seven, but writings suggested that hundreds might live in the mountains around former holdings of the Runelords.
I didn’t have enough attack magic prepared to deal with those kinds of numbers. Even if Paulie went firecat mode, we still didn’t have enough. Even if Lenn and Aurora took wing, it wouldn’t be enough, I don’t think. We really needed to get to cover before those took wing. But we couldn’t. Not yet.
Because first we had to deal with the ACTUAL INVISIBLE GIANTS that had shown up.
Well, to be fair, they weren’t invisible after the first attack. Someone had cheaped out on the magic and given them simple invisibility instead of full combat invisibility. I, on the other hand, did not skimp out. I gave Geo full combat invisibility and pointed him at the nearest rune giant.
“EXCELLENT!” he shouted, laughing maniacally.
“Great,” Kira said. “Jack’s here.”
“Yep.” I was so jaded at this point that it didn’t even faze me. “Look, I can’t use any of the damage spells I have prepared in this situation. Too much risk of hitting an ally. Especially with Jack running around invisible. Also, rune giants are immune to the spells I have. Feel like stretching your legs for a bit?”
“Hell yes.”
“I have a spell that’ll make you big enough to dish out some more damage to the giants. Shall I?”
“Big enough Lenn might think I’m a giant?”
Good question. “Maybe.”
“I’ll pass.”
“Invisibility?”
“That I’ll take.”
While I was conversing, Aurora had pulled out Starbrite and begun a charge. Lenn had engaged the closest giant, looking like he was having the time of his life. Paulie was doing Paulie things – he switched twice in thirty seconds, to his own surprise based on the look on his face. Jack had engaged an enemy from behind. And Lenntu was firing bursts of shrapnel before him.
But the one that interested me most was Twilight Sparkle, who was launching rays of cosmic radiation from her horn. But more than that, it was definitely a spell. An actual spell that fired cosmic rays. A spell that fired cosmic rays that I didn’t know.
But I did know a spell that would let me learn magic from a drop of someone’s blood. I had to ask her later if she would ‘teach’ it to me.
But for now, focus. I made myself invisible and then cast the spell to do a full switch with Kira. She pulled out the blades I’d crafted for her and charged in, assaulting the enemy Aurora was confounding with brazen hit and run attacks.
Starbrite wasn’t just fast, he was incredibly fast. Like, as fast as a cheetah. Seriously, seventy miles per hour or so. While he was wearing armor and carrying a rider. If nothing else, when we made it to Earth, we needed to put him out to stud. His offspring would win triple crowns every year forever.
And that was before Twilight Sparkle whistled(!) and her small dragon familiar(!) climbed from the saddlebag she was wearing and delivered a scroll to her, which she used to cast a spell on the horse – and others nearby – further increasing his speed. Now, there was nothing on Earth that could match his land speed that didn’t have an engine in it. Watching them was like watching Aurora darting through the battlefield on a massive motorcycle made of meat. And it was clear that this was what her twinblade was made for. The powerful blows she struck made even the powerful giants tremble at their ferocity.
Lenn, as usual, was holding his own against a giant in single combat, though it looked like Jack might have been helping, striking the distracted foe from behind. Either way, the big guy looked like he was having the time of his life. He dodged blows and countered with massive blows of his own, putting his towering opponent on the defensive.
Lenntu had taken up a mid range position between where Paulie was standing and some oncoming lesser giants. He was using his shotgun to optimal effect, putting all of its stopping power into breaking charges while Paulie riddled their foes with a hail of arrows from behind him.
Aurora put away her blade and drew out her rope and grappling hook. Then she went full Hoth on the giant. It roared in pain as the hook, now wrapped around its leg, dug into its flesh. Then she rode in a tightening circle around it.
I don’t think her enemy quite understood what she was doing until it was too late. It tried swiping at the rope with its blade, but its strike missed as the rope tightened and sent it hurtling to the ground. Kira ran up the side of a building(!) and kicked off, doing a diving attack at the base of the giant’s spine. Her strike was true and the spine was cleanly severed. That giant wouldn’t be getting back up, though it was still a danger to anyone who got close enough for its arms to reach.
Aurora pulled her blade back out and charged once more. This time, instead of veering away, she leapt off of Starbrite and drove the blade straight through the giant’s head and then tucked into a roll. There was gore everywhere. I was going to get a lot of use out of my cleaning spell today.
Not to be outdone, Lenn cleaved his axe into a giant’s knee, causing it to crumple underneath the monster. I got to watch as Jack, still invisible, tore the giant’s eye out with his tentacles and then threw one of the grenades I had given him into the monster’s gaping eye socket.
Kira laughed her ass off at that. I just sighed as I watched two more people covered in gunk I would be expected to clean.
Twilight charged into melee, goring one of the lesser giants with her horn and then she began teleport spamming, attacking it from all sides like some kind of melee wizard or a flash stepping fighter from an anime. I actually began humming the opening theme from Blast of Tempest, because I’m a dork like that.
Once the last giant fell – Lenn charged it and hit it with his axe in a very sensitive area – we heard someone calling to us. Turning to look, we spotted a creature about man sized that looked sort of like a human wax sculpture that had been out in the desert sun for a bit standing in the doorway to a run down building. I recognized him as one of the Spared, based on Svevenka’s description. We rushed to follow him, right after Aurora returned Starbrite to the safety of being a decal on her armor and Twilight had managed to find a scroll to shrink herself down to pony size. Because of course that was a thing that happened.
We followed the Spared through the building into a hidden entrance to a tunnel network. Once we were safely inside with the entrance re-hidden, he introduced himself as Morgiv. He led us to a hidden chamber where we could rest for a bit and told us about his people.
Apparently they had once been human, like us, but had been slaves to the Runelords. Once Thassilon fell, they eventually escaped captivity but had been unable to escape the safety of the city, fearing certain death on the mountain below. So their leader, the prophetess Mesmina, had led them into safe hiding places within the city, hidden pockets in the now cooled magma of a volcanic eruption.
Things had been good for centuries, but in recent times, a threat had arisen that endangered the remaining skulks. Apparently, while digging new tunnels, they had accidentally let in some kind of dangerous creature, which they called the Hidden Beast, since none had seen it and lived – save Svevenka, who had tried to help them but had been outmatched.
Which isn’t to say that all of its victims had died. It had enslaved some, converting them into its vampiric minions.
“I’m guessing you’re trying to say you want out help defeating it?” I asked.
“Yes,” Morgiv said. “Mesmina prophesized that one day, when our people faced enslavement once more, people who looked like we once had would appear. Among them would walk an angel of light and an angel of fire and they would pierce the darkness, destroying the enemies of the people. Then one among them would lead us to the surface, where we would join others like we once were in ruling the city, no longer having to fear the predations of the monsters that currently claim it.”
“So, kill the Hidden Beast, scour the city clean of monsters and establish a government that gives equal representation to the Spared? Is that about what we’re supposed to do?”
“More or less,” the skulk responded.
I gave the others a questioning look. Those who cared either way seemed to agree with the plan. Lenn and Paulie were doing Lenn and Paulie things. I sighed. Well, it was more or less what I’d been expecting we’d be doing when we got here ever since I’d heard of the Spared and the Hidden Beast.
“Alright,” I said. “We’re in.”
Morgiv thanked us profusely and agreed to lead us to the beast’s lair through the safety of the tunnels. It would mean we’d have more enemies to fight on the surface when we got around to it, but for now, it was probably the wisest option. As strong as the enemy was expected to be, no sense in going in tired.
As we walked, I moved near Twilight. “Hey, that spell you were casting. The one that fired the cosmic rays, you wouldn’t happen to have a spell book I could copy that from, would you?” She shook her head apologetically. “Darn. Could I maybe borrow a small bit of blood so I can use a spell to learn that magic from there?” She shook her head vehemently. “So much for that. It was worth a shot.”
I moved back to Aurora and thought nothing more of it. But a few minutes later, I felt something land on my shoulder. It was Twilight’s familiar. It its foreclaws, it clenched a scroll, which it extended to me. I took the offering and gave it a quick look.
It was the spell I’d wanted to learn! I could easily copy this into my book, though it would destroy the scroll in the process – because magic is weird like that. I got the feeling that Twilight understood that already. “Thanks, Spike,” I said to the pseudodragon, who gave me first a quizzical then an approving look before nodding and flying back to his master. I turned back and thanked Twilight as well.
This was gonna be a good day, though it’d be even better if she had a scroll of the spell that would let me return home. Somehow I doubted it, though.
And, of course, we needed to survive the fight against the Hidden Beast. Because dying tends to put a damper on your day. Trust me. I know. Dying sucks. Still, sometimes it can be worth it. Without even thinking, I gave my wife a loving look, causing her to blush.
As we neared the creature’s lair, I spotted wards in the tunnel with my magic sight. They were simple alarms, and I could easily negate them, but that would require using a more powerful spell to negate such a low one. While that was a worthy trade off, I had a better idea. We could use them to our advantage.
I explained the situation to the others, and we decided to hide our numbers and spring the trap. Draw out the turtle’s head so we could chop it off, as it were. Aurora, Lenn, Paulie and Juiz would go in visible, while we’d combine spells and Geo’s abilities to mask the presence of the rest of us. Twilight indicated that she had access to the spell required, which would allow me to prepare more damage spells in preparation for the fight.
Our vanguard moved into the room, which had a throne in the center, a skeleton upon it. The skeleton spoke to us. An interesting diversion on our enemy’s part, but futile, since we had already learned his true nature. There was no amount of disguise that would convince me that a human skeleton was a decapus.
“More supplicants!” the skeleton exclaimed. “Welcome! Who shall be the first to offer themselves to me? You will be rewarded beyond your imaginings all for the cost of your blood!”
“Sorry to disappoint you,” Aurora replied. “But I’m married. You want my blood, you’re going to have to take it from me!” That phrasing made me pause. What kind of kinky stuff was she into?
“My minions will teach you manners!” Four vampire skulks flew from the shadows around the room, each choosing a target. They were certain they had the upper hand.
They were wrong. Jack burst from the shadows himself, grabbing the one attacking Paulie with his tentacles. “I’m going to dissect you while you squirm!” he said to the vampire. Its eyes widened in terror.
Seeing an opportunity, the mammoth decapus struck at Aurora from behind. Its clawed tentacles struck true, drawing blood. But it had bitten off more than it could chew, almost literally. It recoiled in agony as Aurora’s celestial blood hissed and sizzled against its undead flesh.
The Hidden Beast tried a new tactic, falling back and beginning to cast a spell. I recognized it immediately as a spell that would conjure an illusory creation to cause its target to die of fright. I had dubbed it ‘Phantasmal Killer’, which was a much better name than ‘Fisegwin’s Fatal Frightmare’, the name given to it by the first wizard on record to discover the magic. Someone really needs to teach the magical community that style is more important than putting your name on your spells.
Regardless of what it was called, I didn’t want that spell being targeted at Aurora. That meant it was my turn to show myself. I countered the spell, rendering it harmless. “You think yourself a wizard, beast, yet you merely grasp at the threads of magic. You have never traveled the dark tapestry. You play with powers beyond your comprehension. Now be a good little vampire and die!”
My taunt had the desired effect. It struck out at me. And the tentacle did in fact strike. The only problem for the beast was that said tentacle was no longer attached to its body. Aurora had reacted quickly and severed it.
The beast pulled back and let out a shriek. Two more skulks joined the fray. They and the beast began channeling their vampiric abilities. “Let us see how cocky you are when your own strength is turned against you!”
Against that many, there was nothing I could do. Nothing that hadn’t already been done, anyway. Aurora and I were warded against domination, but that left Jack, Paulie and Lenn looking like viable targets, since I was sure that they had realized that Juiz wasn’t a being of flesh by this point.
Our odds were good. The chances that they could dominate Lenn were almost non-existant, considering the strength of his ability to shrug off the magical and supernatural. Geo’s dual nature made him and Jack pretty resistant as well.
And Paulie was a spellcaster, so he would be fairly resistant on those grounds. It was magical combat 101. You don’t try killing a spellcaster by attacking his mind. If you cannot simply negate his magic, you attack his body. He will be unlikely to have the strength or reflexes possessed by another combatant.
Also, all three of them were fairly close to an invisible unicorn, which was perhaps only bested by extremely powerful celestials as wards against evil. Her aura of good would shield them even better than my spells protected Aurora and me.
“Impossible!” the monster shrieked.
“Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter. Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just,” I replied with a wink.
Twilight took that as her cue and struck the beast with a spell to prevent it from teleportation, anchoring its place in existence. Paulie shifted randomly again. This time was a good one. He ran over and hit Aurora with a spell. “A CHANCE FOR GLORY!” he roared triumphantly as she unsheathed her wings.
The monster struck Twilight with a bolt of lightning. Juiz shot it with a deft blast of the railgun and Aurora charged in, invoking the names of several gods while doing so. As he blow connected, the blade flashed with light and the beast shrieked in agony.
Two more skulks appeared from the shadows. Lenntu caught one with the butt of his gun, knocking it prone and shooting it in the face. The second nearly reached me, but Aurora had pulled back, intercepting it. I tossed a grenade at the Hidden Beast, wounding it a bit more. “In the name of God, impure souls of the living dead shall be banished into eternal damnation. Amen!”
More skulks arrived, swarming Paulie. I heard him laughing, the voice of the firebug. There was an explosion as he unleashed a fireball directly on himself. Three more arrived. Lenntu was swarmed. Jack had to stealth to avoid being overrun as well. Twilight was desperately healing us, unleashing a spell that burned a massive amount of diamond dust to wish for health for us.
More skulks arrived, swarming Lenn. Those who touched him found themselves scorched as his flaming wings erupted from his back. Only I remained relatively unscathed, and that wouldn’t last long. Aurora couldn’t hold out much longer. We were near the center of the room, soon we would be swarmed on all sides.
“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters,” I recited.
“Prayer?!” the beast laughed. “Your god cannot help you now!”
“The Lord helps those who help themselves. It is upon us only to live by His example.” And I knew exactly which example I planned to live by.
I began casting the most powerful spell I had ever cast. Magical energy swirled around me like a flood as I drew it in. The spell matrices formed around me, layer upon layer. The power shuddered and swelled, threatening to collapse should I make a single mistake.
Too late, the monster understood what I was casting. “NOOOO!!!” it shrieked, charging me. That was a mistake. Aurora interdicted, prohibiting his movement until I could finish. It should have instead fled. Now it was near the center of where the spell was taking form.
As the last piece clicked into place, I grinned. “Fiat lux,” I said softly, nearly spent by my effort.
Perhaps my most common spell has always been what I call my magical flashbang, a burst of light that blinds temporarily and harms evil creatures. This spell was to that what a nuclear flash was to candlelight. I might not be able to shoot cosmic rays from my hands yet, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t bring a bit of space into the world.
For a brief moment, the room was filled with all the light of a small star. The flash was literally blinding. I had shut my eyes, preventing the blindness it could cause, but that would do nothing to help the vampires. This was not just light, but true sunlight. And we all know what happens to vampires in sunlight.
All that was left of the Hidden Beast and its minions was a bit of ash and some magical items.
I would have a massive sunburn later. Being Irish has its disadvantages. But still, a small price to pay. We were safe. If any of the Hidden Beast’s minions had not been present, they would be small potatoes compared to their deceased master.
Paulie had picked up a wand that would cure the blindness, so I retrieved that from him and used it carefully to remove the condition my spell had caused on those who hadn’t closed their eyes quickly enough.
We had taken a beating, but we had survived. Even Twilight Sparkle, who managed to survive me casting the biggest spell I had ever cast. I still suspected she’d die, but was not sure when or how.
We cured everyone of diseases in case someone had picked up something in the fight, then Morgiv joined us. To call him excited and grateful would have been one hell of an understatement. He was so incredibly happy he was beaming. He was damn near to worshipping us.
After I told the skulk we needed a safe place to rest, he informed me that we should be pretty safe here in the Hidden Beast’s former lair, now that the creature was slain. It made some sense to me. It would take a few days before anything else would move in. So I conjured another extradimensional mansion before we began looting in earnest. I gave Morgiv access as well as my companions and Twilight Sparkle.
Once the mansion was conjured, Morgiv left, telling us that the fall of the Hidden Beast should allow the Spared to reclaim some of their old holdings. He said that one of their shrines had a hidden cache of healing items that could help us, and he’d put his people to gathering it.
While we grabbed valuables from the battlefield, I spotted Geo – no longer acting like Jack – taking samples from the Hidden Beast. “You don’t think, twenty years from now, we’re going to look back and say, ‘We could have stopped the rise of the unstoppable scourge devouring the world if we’d just kept a better eye on Geo?’” Kira asked me.
“God, I hope not,” I responded.
We finished looting and moved into our safe base to get a meal and some rest. Shortly after, Morgiv returned and joined us in the dining room. We quizzed him on what he knew about the city. The most important part was whether he knew how to get into the upper city.
He did. We would require special pieces of jewelry marked with sihedrons to protect us while we were up there. There were medallions and rings that would work. We’d already encountered the medallions, but those were a no go. While breaking one down into magicite, I’d studied the enchantments and discovered a Trojan horse enchantment that would allow Karzoug to use them against us.
Morgiv answered that it made sense, since those were given to the Runelords’ lesser lieutenants, while the rings were given to their greater ones. It was at that moment that Geo produced one of the rings. “The Hidden Beast was wearing one,” he answered our unspoken question.
“I’ll study it for any nasty surprises in the enchantment matrix, but getting more of these is likely our best bet,” I said.
“I know of several beings who wear them within the lower city,” Morgiv offered.
“Then, if possible, have your people scout them for us,” I requested. “Because tomorrow, we’re going hunting.”
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