Our mirth was short lived.  We walked outside and Lenntu grabbed the special pouch where he carried figurines I had turned our mounts into – well, not Starbrite, who was being carried as an image on Aurora’s armor.  I could hear rattling as he pulled it off of his belt.  And then I heard another sound at the tree line.

The strange winged figure was there, watching Lenntu’s pouch intently.  I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Lenntu didn’t even need to open the pouch before I knew.  “Sorry, Rainbow Dash,” I said.  Silas Vekker’s waiting vigil for his brother had shown vast loyalty.  I don’t know if I had shown anything particular that particularly represented that trait, but I wasn’t sure if it was just me needing to show a property.  Perhaps I just had to witness it.

Rainbow Dash had been shattered into dust by Lenntu’s fall.  Not even magic would return the figure to whole.  The fifth pony was dead.  It was not in a moment of heroism or epic daring-do.  She was crushed during a fall while she slept.  That saddened me more than it should have.

We buried the pieces next to a boulder and I carved the image of her cutie-mark into the boulder, along with words that came to mind unbidden as I cast the spell.

I’ll clear the skies forever

So we won’t be apart

I’ll keep the weather warm for you

And the winter will never start

And then the craziest thing happened.  A beam of light passed through a cloud above split, casting a rainbow upon the carving, which itself began to shine with some kind of light.  In the skies above, the few clouds in the heavens seemed to pass around an area directly above the grave, as if they were avoiding casting a shadow upon it.

Paulie touched the carving curiously and iridescent light washed over us.  What small wounds that remained healed and everyone felt as if they had eaten a hearty meal.  All worries and fears had been washed away.

“That was amazing, Kyle!” Aurora said to me.

“I didn’t do that,” I replied, studying the inscription with my magic sight.  Based on the auras, I suspected that it would heal everyone who approached once daily, take away their hunger and melt away negative emotions.  And snow, wind or cold would never again touch this small area, just large enough for a few people to shelter in should the need ever arise.

I turned to where the figure had stood in the woods, but it was gone.

After putting my powered armor back into the portable hole, we had Paulie cast a spell upon us to turn us into vapor, allowing us to fly through the air at roughly sixty miles an hour.  Yes, it was the same spell the wendigo was using.  Yes, that creeped me out a bit.  But it was too convenient and no one was around to dispel us.  The only downside is that it was Paulie’s ‘hippie’ personality that had the spell.

We followed the river Avah to its source, which I smelled long before I could see it.  There were scents of fungus and ash on the air as we finally spotted the icy swamp.  I don’t know what it was, but something about the whole thing gave me a nostalgic feeling.

We landed on the shore of the icy lake.  “We need to rest,” Aurora said to me once we had retaken solid form.

I nodded.  “This is probably as good a place as any.  We’ll need to determine if anything dangerous lurks in the swamp and then I’ll conjure up another temporary magical dwelling where we can rest in comfort.”

We scouted about using flight magic – and wings, in Aurora’s case – and saw nothing.  Nonetheless, we had a feeling that something, or perhaps someone, was watching us, though there was no feeling of malice.  I decided to try calling out to whatever it was in an indirect manner.

I pulled out my violin and started playing ‘Drunken Sailor’.  It seemed like it would be lighthearted enough to convey a message that we weren’t threatening whoever was watching. 

When I was finished, a voice began singing another song.  I looked at the lake to see the naked form of an elven woman walking out of the icy lake, her skin a pale purple and her hair black as a raven.  The nymph, a fey creature likely attuned to this swamp, sang along with me as she approached slowly, showing no signs of aggression.

My mouth was hanging open and I must have been staring, because Aurora elbowed me in the ribs.  “I know that song,” I clarified.

“That isn’t that surprising,” she said.  “Surely songs get around.”

“Ones from Earth that I’ve never played here?  And in a language from Earth?” I asked.  Shock showed on her face.

Feeling nostalgic, I began playing a tune my grandfather taught me many years ago.  I never learned much about it, but he said it was very old.  He had also told me that there was a verse we didn’t know, but if I ever encountered someone who knew it, I would have found an old friend of the family.  He had even joked that the person who would know it would likely be a fairy in disguise.  Well, he was wrong about the disguise part.

And he had insisted that I learn the lyrics – all in Gaelic.  I’m not even sure if he knew what they meant, but he made me memorize them.

In truth, I was never good at playing the tune back on Earth.  It was too complicated for my skills back then.  But I knew it and I was far better at playing than I had ever been back then.  So I played my violin along with the nymph’s singing.  As the melancholy notes filled the air, I waited until the first verse was over and began singing words I still didn’t understand.  Once my part ended, she began another verse.

We continued the song for several minutes as the others watched.  When it was over, the nymph gave me an inquiring look.  “How do you know this song?”

“My grandfather taught it to me.  It has been in our family for generations,” I said.  “Now how about you?  Where did you learn it?  And especially where did you learn that language?”

“My mother taught me the song.  She said it was sung by her grandmother to a friend.  The language comes from the place my grandmother lived, long ago, before that mythical land was cut off from the first world.”

The first world was a mythical place where the Fair Folk were said to have originated from before a diaspora out into other worlds.  It was said to exist in a parallel plane not unlike the one we lived on.  It would not have been impossible for the fey to have traveled from Earth to Golarion through there.  I hadn’t considered it, but it might have offered me a way back home, though her words suggested that was impossible.

“What do the words mean?” Aurora asked me.

I shrugged.  “I never learned.”

“His words tell the story of a dryad who fell in love with a human and sacrificed everything to be with him.  Mine are the words of a nymph friend of the dryad who tries to talk her friend out of leaving and then laments her loss as she dies of old age, having given up her long lifespan to be more human.”

If the dryad had gone off to marry a human, that suggested some possibilities as to the reason the song was carried through the generations of my family.  “Did the dryad have any children?”

“I do not know,” the nymph replied.  Realization hit her face.  “But it is possible.  May I smell your hair?”

Aurora gave me a dubious look.  I shrugged.  “I don’t see why not.  Go ahead.”

The nymph approached and smelled my head.  “OH!  It is faint, but I do smell the scent of a tree upon you.”  She cast a minor illusion and a tree appeared before us.  “One of these, I believe.”

“An aspen,” I said.  “Populus Tremula, also known as the trembling poplar.  Native to Ireland… often found near good sources of water.  Yes, that being the tree you associate with me suggests perhaps the dryad had children after all.”  There had been a couple dozen generations since then, and who knows how far that one pair’s offspring had branched out.  It was likely she had thousands of living descendants.

Nonetheless, learning that your ancestor may have been a dryad was pretty cool.  And meeting the great-grandaughter of her old friend was also pretty cool.  It also explained why I could smell certain flowery scents on others that no one else could detect.  It was likely some kind of lingering effect of the fey blood in my family line.

Several moments of silence hung in the air as none of us could think of what to say next.  Then Lenn roared, “I LIKE HOOKERS!”

I was terrified of what the nymph’s reaction would be, but she just laughed.  “My cousin told me that you people were fun.”

“Your cousin?” Aurora asked.

“Myriana of the Shimmerglens,” the nymph replied.  “I am known as Svevenka of the Fen of the Icemists.”  We introduced ourselves in return.  “For your efforts freeing Myriana from her undeath, I would have offered you a safe place to rest and any information you asked for.  But you went beyond that and returned her to life.  If there is anything I can do for you, please, do not hesitate to ask.”

“A place to rest and information should be enough,” Geo said.  “We’re trying to reach Xin-Shalast to prevent the return of the Runelord, Karzoug.”

The nymph’s eyes lit up.  “Really?”

“Yes,” Lenntu said.

“Oh my!” she said, rushing over to him.  “There are two of you!  Myriana said nothing about that!  And so handsome!”  The big guy looked uncomfortable at the attention from the voluptuous naked woman.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Lenn downing another skin of water.  That was the third since we’d stopped.  Then I noticed Paulie casting a spell to create more water, directly into the empty skins.  He took a long drink.  There was something important about this. 

“Ah, crap,” I said as realization set in.

“What is it?” Aurora asked.

“That’s going to cost us a couple days,” I responded.

“What?”

“Everyone else is showing early signs of being affected by the higher altitude.  I should have made preparations against the dangers of going into the mountains, but I didn’t think about it.”

“I’m not noticing any issues,” she said.

“Early signs include increased thirst due to higher sweat evaporation in lower air pressure,” I told her.  “You’re wearing a ring that magically supplies all your water and food needs.”  Well, most of the time, anyway.  “Which means you won’t start to see the effects until we’re higher up and non-thirst issues show up.”

“Uh oh.  What do we do?”

“In a perfect world?  I craft five magic items like the necklace I’m wearing.  Since most of you are already wearing magical pendants, that means we spend six days waiting for me to do so, even with my magical workshop spell.  I don’t think we can afford six days.”

“So, how about in an imperfect world?”

“The spellbooks we took from the Runeforge contained a spell that mimics the effect, but I have to divide the duration amongst the recipients.  I can do thirty two hours per casting thanks to an item I have that boosts my casting power, for six hours each person.  Which means I eat up four of my daily spells of that power to keep you all going.  I only have five of those and many of them are useful.”

“Also not optimal.”

“Agreed.  Which is why I’m thinking that if I instead craft one necklace for Paulie, who isn’t wearing any magical pendants right now, I reduce it to four people, meaning I only have to cast it three times a day.  And if I also enchant one of the pearls on my rosary to allow it to recharge one of my daily spells of that power, that leaves me three other spells of that level free per day.”

“How long will that take?”

“If I craft before bed, sleep, wake up and craft again?  We can get going sometime late tomorrow afternoon.”

“Can we afford that?”

“I believe so.”  I turned my attention to the others.  “We’re going to need to take a rest.  I’ll conjure another extradimensional magical dwelling where we can do so safely and I can get my work done with no interruption.”  A thought occurred.  “Svevenka, you’re welcome to join us inside if you want, especially for meals.  But it will be warm enough to be comfortable for us.  Will that be a problem for you?”

“I’m adaptable,” she said.  “And if I become too warm, I can always come back outside.”

“Then I’ll get to it.”  After a minute of preparation, I conjured up the mansion, once more giving it a futuristic feel.  After we’d made our way inside, I let the others head in to get something to eat while I went to a special room I had prepared near the front door.  There was something I had to do before I could do anything else.

It took about ten minutes to do all the preparatory work and cast the spell.  In fact, it was one of the more complex and difficult spells one could cast.  There were also potentially dire consequences if one did it incorrectly.  But that wouldn’t be a big deal today.  I didn’t need power in the being I was summoning and binding.  I just needed mobility and would only need enough power to hold the creature long enough to talk to him a moment.

Within the magic circle appeared a six foot tall man with the head of a wolf – a Hound Archon, one of Heaven’s frontline soldiers.  “WHY HAVE I BEEN SUMMONED?” he demanded, hand on the hilt of his greatsword.

“I do apologize.  Have you ever heard of the Runelords of ancient Thassilon?”

It eyed me suspiciously.  “I have.”

“One of them is trying to return.  My companions and I are on a quest to stop him.  To this end, I am coordinating action with my brother who should currently be in Absalom, though it is possible he may be in Magnimar.  New information has come to my attention that he must be made aware of.  I have summoned you to deliver a message to him and return with his reply, which should take no more than a few hours to complete.  If this is a task you are unwilling to do, I will return you immediately and seek another to do this.  If you remain, I am willing to compensate you or give you a sum of three hundred gold pieces to deliver to a charitable organization while you’re completing your task.”

The celestial relaxed.  “Your task is reasonable, as is your compensation.  I accept.”

“I’m glad to hear that.  Please give me a moment to pen the missive and we’ll get you on your way.  We’re in an extraplanar space, so you’ll need to walk out the front door before teleporting.  I’ve attuned you to it, so you will be able to reenter when you return.”  Then I wrote the letter.

Chadwick,

I’ve discovered a problem.  We’re going high enough into the mountains that breathing will be difficult.  Your first strike team especially will require protection.  If you can, secure necklaces like the one I wear for everyone.  If not, the spellbooks we secured from the Runeforge contain a spell that will suffice as a substitute, though you will need to cast it multiple times to cover everyone.

I will activate the beacon once we’ve found a good place to do so, but make sure you’re prepared to come in ready to fight.  We do not know what kind of enemies we’ll find once there, though I hope to find somewhere safe before activation.

We met a nymph – cousin to Myriana from the Shimmerglens – who may have knowledge about what we might encounter in Xin-Shalast.  We will be staying next to her swamp until tomorrow after noon while I make preparations for our ascent.

The bearer of this message has agreed to return with a reply from you, should you have anything to add.

– Kyle

I showed the celestial how to reach the front door and attuned him to the mansion so he could re-enter when he returned.  Then I made my way to the dining room.  Amusement was waiting for me.

Everyone was deeply contemplating Jello.

“WHY DOES IT JIGGLE?!” Lenn roared at me, accusatorily.

I spent almost half an hour explaining gelatin to everyone, complete with pulling out a chalk board and explaining the chemistry and physics of it.  With calculus, because I hoped that their eyes would glaze over and they’d stop worrying about it.

Shows how much I know.  Lenn and Geo were enraptured by my lecture.  I was fairly certain that I would be seeing Lenn making some kind of gelatinized sausage concoction in the future.  But I was more than a little worried about what Geo was planning to do with the knowledge.

Once the Jello lecture was over, we asked Svevenka to tell us about the dangers we might face as we headed up the mountain.  She told us that she had encountered a band of giants controlled by what sounded like a rune giant – just what I always wanted to hear – as well as yetis and even lamias.

She told us that the mountain was a place where the barrier between Golarion and the realm of Leng was thin, which is why we would need to find a way to follow the ghost river revealed by moonlight to those who hungered.  I asked her if it was hidden and revealed by moonlight or if the moonlight created the river.  She wasn’t sure, so I figured I’d go test it after nightfall.

She also told us what she knew about the city.  She had made contact with a group of what she called ‘Skulks’, who were apparently the descendants of the city’s original citizens.  The group she knew called themselves ‘The Spared’, and they were at war with a group of vampiric skulks who served a dangerous creature called ‘The Hidden Beast’, who Svevenka had tangled with before.

Her description made me nervous.  If her memory was correct, then what she fought was a decapus, a ten-tentacled monster with a taste for the flesh of humanoids.  But they weren’t known to be blood drinkers, which meant it had likely been infected with vampirism at some point, making it even more dangerous.  Further still, it was a spellcaster of some kind, likely a sorcerer based on her descriptions of the spells it was casting.  With all of that combined, it meant we had our work cut out for us if we needed to destroy it to ensure our own safety.

Of course, knowing what we faced meant we could plan to be just as much as a handful for them.  I knew just the spell to use, and had a few backup plans on the off chance it failed.  Who knows?  Maybe it could even be fun.

A few hours later, the celestial returned.  Chadwick had given it a moderately powerful magic item it could use in its fight against the forces of evil in exchange for one final delivery.  It was to wait with us and return with any note I sent back, specifically requesting anything we had learned about what we might face in Xin-Shalast.

There was a lot to be said about using a binding spell not to compel something to do my bidding, but simply as the opening of negotiations.  I doubt we’d have gotten as much help out of the archon if I hadn’t been generous.  I gave him a room to rest in and told him he was welcome use any of the facilities while he was staying with us.

After everyone was done eating, I stepped outside and cast a couple quick spells.  Sure enough, I could see the ghostly river in the sky using a powerful spell that allowed me to pierce illusions with my vision.  Which meant we would have no trouble making our way into Xin-Shalast the next day, assuming we didn’t run into any monsters.

As an aside, it didn’t look like a river to me.  It looked more like the seam between realms.

I went back inside and headed back to find Aurora so I could tell her I’d be working for several hours before bed.  The building’s sensors, which Juiz was using to keep tabs on the entire complex, told me she was still in the dining hall.

As I approached the room, I heard the voices of Aurora and Svevenka talking.  They were discussing Aurora’s pregnancy.  My wife was asking for advice and the nymph was giving her support.  Since she didn’t seem ready to tell me yet, I turned around and walked away. 

Once I reached the workshop, I asked Juiz to let Aurora know that I would be working, but to not tell her I’d tried to go tell her in person.  She would tell me when she was ready.  And I needed to focus.

Not much to tell about the crafting.  It was simple, mostly mindless work at this point.  Honestly, unless I’m interweaving high technology with eldritch magic, it’s too simple.  I needed a crafting challenge.  Like making a starship.  Maybe later.

I went to bed and had another memory dream.

The city was ablaze.  The first meteor strike had struck the castle.  The second would strike the monastery.  Then dozens more would strike randomly throughout the city.  I smiled at the thought, and at the terrified faces of those fleeing before me.

Camelot would fall, forgotten in the mists of history.  That was the price of their treachery, the price they would pay for the death of my mother.  The price they would pay for genocide.

My brother and I led the last remaining hundred or so elves.  In the old times, our people had spanned across the lands the future would know as the UK and Ireland.  Now, we were all but extinct.  We couldn’t take the entirety of humanity with us, nor would we, but those who harmed us would know our retribution.

Once again, Camelot would fall, destroyed under the weight of their own weapon.  Merlin Storm Crow had used his magic to destroy our city, so I had snuck into his tower and used his own artifact against him.   Then I dismantled it and had my agents carry it out of the city with orders to bury it in dozens of random locations.  We couldn’t destroy it, but we could hide it.

My only regret was that I hadn’t slain the Old Crow myself.  His child grew within my belly, which made his betrayal hurt all the more.  But he was still out there, and I would find him.

Even now, my brother fought against Arthur at Camlenn, backed by our remaining forces and several powerful bands of hired mercenaries.  His rage would not allow Arthur to leave the field alive.  And now his keep would burn and his people would be scattered to the corners of the earth. 

I would have simply killed them all, if I had the option.  But this would suffice.  If I could only put my unborn child’s father’s head on a spike on the wall of my keep, my anger would be sated.

I awoke with a start.  I could still feel the anger my past self.  I wanted to hit something.  I wanted to find the man who had done that, the man who I somehow knew had been behind one of the most complete genocides in Earth’s history, and I wanted to forcibly pull his lungs directly out of his chest and feed them to him.

Aurora wasn’t in bed next to me, so I got up to look for her.  I found her within our private bathroom, luxuriating in the feel of the jets.  She had added one of the potpourri bath balls that had come with the mansion to the water, filling the room with the scent of water lilies.

My wife smiled at me as I took in the sight of her.  “Want to join me?”  The marble tub was certainly big enough.  I was pretty sure at least six people could fit comfortably within.

I smiled back.  “I think I can spare some time for this.”

I stripped and joined her in the wonderfully warm water.  “When we get to your world, can we get a tub like this?” she asked as she pulled me close to her.

“Absolutely, though I’m thinking we also get a waterfall on the wall because it’ll look cool.  And maybe one way glass walls and ceilings so we can sit in the tub and look at the stars and the beautiful natural views around wherever we build our home.”

“You don’t want to live in a city?”

I shrugged.  “I’m sure we’ll be able to afford both.  Maybe a penthouse apartment in a big city and our proper estate on a large property in the mountains.”

We relaxed for maybe an hour, saying little and just enjoying sitting together, before I finally decided it was time to get back to work.  “Feeling better?” she asked me as she helped me dry my back.

“Much.”

“Good.  You looked upset when you first came in.”

“Sorry for worrying you,” I said.  “Just a bad dream.”

“As long as it wasn’t some sort of secret prophecy or whatever,” she said in a teasing tone.  “You can never tell what you wizards will do next.”

“You’d find me boring if I were predictable.”

She slapped my butt.  “Maybe a little.  But there’s nothing wrong with a little boredom now and again.”

“True enough.  Our lives have been VERY interesting lately.”  I gave her a kiss, dressed quickly and headed out the door to go to my workshop.

Along the way, I spotted Svevenka.  She was coming out of one of the bedrooms – I’m not certain, but I think it was Lenntu’s room, though it could have been Lenn’s – and she had several love bites and a rather large handprint on her bare ass.

<I’m telling Aurora you were looking.>

<You were looking just as much.>

<Touche.>

Without a hint of embarrassment – let’s face it, when has a nymph EVER been embarrassed? – she strode over to me.  “Hi!  Is your wife awake?  I haven’t had anyone to talk about girly stuff with in ages.  Aside from the unicorn, I mean.”

“Unicorn?”

“Yeah, she stops by once in a while.  Just casts a spell, grows wings and flies right up to come say hello.”

“A flying unicorn?”

“Yeah, and she has the prettiest purple mane.  It’s a little darker than my skin, but very pretty.  And so silky!  But she’s not very good at talking about girly things.”

“A flying purple unicorn,” I said flatly.

“Yes!  What, do you not believe me?  No one ever believes me.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose as I looked at the floor.  “Yeah, I believe you.  Because of course the last one would actually be a literal purple unicorn that can fly.”

<Like friendship, Prophecy is Magic, after all.>

<Hush you.>

“The last what?”

“It’s a long story,” I said.

“Nevermind then,” the nymph said.  “So, is Aurora free?”

“Let me check.”  I tapped my radio button and Juiz used it to tap into the house’s intercoms and rang the one in our room.  Yes, my magic house has intercoms.  When you create an extradimensional magic house, you decide it how you want.  Mine has intercoms.

“Yes?” Aurora’s voice asked over the radio.

“I ran into Svevenka in the hallway, and she was wondering if you were free to hang out.”

“I was just about to run down to the kitchen for a snack.  She can meet me there if she wants.”

“You girls have fun,” I told my lovely wife and closed the channel.

“Thanks,” the nymph said, having heard everything.  “Which way to the kitchen?”

Lights along the base of the wall came on, turning a green color.  “Please follow the green pathway markers to reach the kitchen,” Juiz intoned over a nearby speaker.

“Your house talks?!”

“Well, it’s a bit more complicated than that,” I began.

“Boring!  I’m going to the kitchen now.  Thanks for the directions, house!” 

I rolled my eyes as she left.  I silently activated my telepathic interface.  “Juiz, please keep an eye on them.  Give them their privacy as reasonable, but alert me immediately if she does anything that might seem threatening or suspicious.”  It’s not that I suspected the nymph of ill will, but I wasn’t taking any chances.

“Acknowledged,” Juiz replied through my earbud.

Crafting was pretty normal.  That is to say, it was pretty boring.  So we’ll ignore that.  Suffice it to say I got everything done in the time frame I figured I would need.

Then we had one last sit down meal and prepared to leave.  I gave the celestial another note to deliver, filling in Chadwick about everything we might encounter and everything else we’d learned thus far.

Before he could cast the spell that would let us fly quickly through the night along the path of the illusory river, Paulie spotted something.  “Don’t look now, but your weird winged watcher is back, brah.”

I closed my eyes and listened.  As I suspected, I heard the sound of wings upon the wind.  “Unicorn’s here,” I said, causing the others to exchange worried glances.  Because apparently they’re not used to me saying random things that make sense to no one.

Svevenka clapped giddily at my words.  “She’s here!  Best night ever!”

I laughed.  I don’t know if the universe was giving me hints at what to do or I was simply weird and picking up on things that weren’t there.  But I knew what I had to do.  Kira knew what I was going to do as well, so she called me a dork and joined in, using the telepathic interface to sing along on a speaker.

<Note: Me alone without brackets, Kira in () and both in [].>

Up the Mountain, (In the city) stop the Runelord (stop the Runelord)

Is where we’re going to be (Make his minions flee)

I’ll beat him with my magic

And use what I’ve learned and seen. (You all will see)

It is going to be so awesome

As we bring down the Runelord of Greed!

[Onto the mountain we must go

We’re ready now, we’re all a glow

Onto the mountain, let’s begin

And have the best night ever

Onto the mountain, now’s the time

We’re ready and we look divine]

And we’ll have the best night ever!

I must admit, I was impressed that she managed to sing along completely with the changes to the chorus.  Granted, I didn’t change the lyrics much, so it’s not like it was difficult, but still, I was impressed.

Everyone else just gave us the look they give me when I do something weird.  Le sigh.  Everyone’s a critic.  But it worked, so ha.

Of course, by “it worked”, I mean it made the unicorn come over to greet us.  In fact, she approached me directly.  She sniffed at me, trying to assess me.

Svevenka was confused.  “Wait.  I thought you unicorns only liked humans if they were women and virgins.  And after discussion with his wife, I’m pretty sure he’s neither.”  Aurora looked mortified.  The unicorn responded, though I didn’t understand her.  “What do you mean she’s a woman?  She’s a he.  I mean, he’s a man.  What?  No, I haven’t looked for myself.  I’ve talked to someone who has.”  This continued on way past the point of awkwardness.

Kira was dying laughing.

“Tell her you’re not a woman,” Svevenka commanded me.

“Well, honestly, that’s complicated,” I admitted.

“What.”

“I have the broken memories of over a dozen past lives as various women.  I got hit by a curse and was stuck as a woman for a month or so.  Also?  My not exactly dead twin sister’s soul resides in my brain.”

“What.”  I just shrugged.  “Okay, so how about the fact that he’s clearly not a virgin?  What do you mean that’s never been a thing with unicorns?  Of course it is.”

“Actually,” I butted in, “that’s not necessarily accurate.  In fact, if we consider the theories of the scholar Antoria Vallerix, virginity was never the issue.  In fact, she theorized that it was that unicorns tend to lose their devotion to people who become too focused on others.  Since mothers tend to become focused on their children, that may have led to the misconception.”

“How the hell do you know that?” Kira asked, incredulous.

“I wiki-walked the library at the Arcanamirium.”

“You would.”

“Okay, fine.  Do whatever you want,” Svevenka said to the unicorn.  “She says she’s going with you.”

“That’s not a good idea,” I said, my voice serious.  “You’ll almost definitely die.”

The unicorn and Svevenka had a several minutes long back and forth, the nymph speaking in a language I didn’t know.  Finally, Svevenka threw her arms up.  “She doesn’t care.  She said you’re going to need her help, though she can’t explain how.”

I looked at the others for signs of objection.  No one seemed worried about it.  “Alright then.  Welcome to the team, Twilight Sparkle.”

The nymph and the unicorn exchanged a glance.  “How did you know her name?” Svevenka asked.

What.  “Lucky guess?”

“No,” Kira said over a speaker.  “I’m not willing to accept that being her name.  We are not living in some kind of strange universe where MLP is somehow real.”

“…Said the woman whose soul is trapped in her brother’s brain,” I replied.

“FINE,” Kira replied, pouting.

“Well,” Svevenka added, “it’s not a literal translation, but it’s the closest you’ll get in this language.”

Aurora cleared her throat.  “We should probably get going.”

I nodded and cast my spell to see the “river” in the sky.  “Mister Paulie, if you would.”

“Yeah, brah.  It’s time to fly!”  And then we were wind, soaring through the sky towards Xin’Shalast and our destiny.

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