We made our way out of the Halls of Greed, happily confirming that the mist was indeed gone from the entrance hall. Our biggest difficulty was convincing Paulie that we didn’t have time to pry up all the darkwood boards we had spotted in the library.
That isn’t to say we didn’t take anything. We have quite a few more books to add to our library resort. But that didn’t take very long. Definitely not nearly as long as it would have taken to pry up the boards.
Thanks to the time spent healing up the magical brain damage caused by that stupid pool – it had been hard to notice in Lenn, to be honest – and gathering loot, Kira woke up around the time we made it back to the central Runeforge chamber. “Samantha wanted you to know that there’s probably not any danger regarding Leng. Unless Karzoug and his minions are stupid enough to actually enlist the aid of Leng’s denizens. In which case, we might all be completely screwed.”
“Yeah, that makes me feel better,” I replied sarcastically.
“Glad to help.”
Lenn led the way into the Halls of Pride, or whatever they’re called. “This place is bad too!” he growled. I braced myself as I crossed the threshold into the wing to once more feel uncomfortable and out of sorts. But instead, once I had entered the place, I found myself feeling a hundred feet tall and more confident than ever. It was like the world around me didn’t matter, like I could take on anything. Nothing was beyond my scope.
Well, that made sense. Envy wasn’t my thing. Nor was greed. But, if I have an affinity for one of the deadly sins, it’s gotta be pride. Even my propensity towards lusting after numerous women was almost more driven by a desire for simple comfort from the nightmares than it was by sexual desire. As soon as Aurora started comforting me while I slept, my desire for anyone but her almost completely vanished. Like, eighty five percent gone. I’m in love, not dead.
And look at the others. No one, except for Billy Mays Paulie, seems to be driven by greed. And Lenn… I could see envy. He was so jealous of Aurora’s halo that he forced himself – somehow – to manifest one of his own. I also had another suspicion.
“Lenn, when did you decide to learn to cook?”
“What?”
“When did you decide to learn to cook?”
“Geo was learning to do something new and I wanted to learn to do something new too.”
“Why cooking?”
“There was lots of meat lying around.”
I gave Geo a look. He looked as confused as me, then I saw it dawn on him. “When I was studying anatomy?”
“You had a dead rabbit nailed to a table.” Aurora gave Geo a look. She also looked a little ill.
Yep, time to derail that train of conversation. “Well, that supports my current conclusion. Paulie! Stand proud! We have before us a chance for glory!”
The tiefling fugued again. “GLORY! ONWARD!” He led the way down the hall, turning left at the ninety degree fork. Lenn and Lenntu also made it around the corner before shit hit the fan. I didn’t see it happen, but having studied the magic, I suspect that this is how it went down.
They rounded the corner, and caught sight of themselves in the hallway filled with mirrors. Additionally, they caught sight of the reflection of their reflection in an opposed mirror. Then the magic went off and mirror images stepped out of each to attack us. That means there were two each of Lenn, Lenntu and Paulie.
We backed up and used the tight corridors to our advantage. I used my suit’s wand crystal to hit them with a fireball and we moved into a firing line to burn them down quickly. All in all, it wasn’t too bad. They had our peoples’ abilities, but not our party’s overall tactical acumen.
After that, I threw down an illusory wall on the opposite side of the hallway to block line of sight between the two opposed mirrors and we continued forward, coming to a massive cathedral walled floor to ceiling in mirrors. There were four massive chandeliers hanging through the hall. Peacock motifs abounded.
On a dais, around a beautiful throne, stood six blond wizards, each copies of a single man. My mind reacted quickly, formulating a plausible story for dealing with these magical guardians. I just needed to convince them that I was here on legitimate business with their creator. Nothing could be simpler.
Of course, that would have required them allowing me a chance to speak. They attacked immediately, unleashing a flurry of fireballs made of quasi-illusory shadow-stuff. I saw through them and they still hurt a bit. The others were in a lot of pain.
The trio of fireballs was followed by a trio of magical rays to mentally enfeeble our front line. The first target to react after being hit was Lenn. Honestly, he didn’t seem all that different, though he forgot how to speak, resorting to growls and roars.
Next was Lenntu. Basically, he just became Lenn, though his body lacked Lenn’s ridiculous strength. Don’t get me wrong, he was still perhaps around as strong as Aurora, which is insane, but nowhere near Lenn. He also lost all ability to speak.
Finally was Geo. He stood stunned for a moment, then his body warped, becoming taller, lankier and in general terrifying. He drew his blade and licked it, then pointed it at one of the enemies before disappearing as his skin and clothing went chameleon.
Meanwhile, I turned my gun sideways and threw out a cone of suppressive fire and Aurora, who had been bringing up the rear, prepared to charge. But ultimately, it was Paulie who made the biggest contribution.
Wielders of divine magic have some brutal things they can do to arcane casters who aren’t prepared. With a single spell, Paulie caused his shirt to radiate a field of silence, then ran into close range with his foes.
At that range, he was able to use his armor’s weapons systems to their full. Beams of energy tore through the wizards as they also faced an onslaught from our melee line. And, outside the range of the silence, I was free to unleash my own spells at our foes.
Geo appeared out of nowhere behind one of the wizards, his blade protruding from its chest and his tentacles raking through its jugular. It was the first to fall, collapsing into a pile of snow. Right, simulacra. You know, I should make a few of those to keep an eye on my place in Magnimar and protect the servants.
<Ooh! Make a dragon to protect Sandpoint!>
<You know, they could probably use one.>
Paulie had to spend some very powerful heals to remove magical effects from Lenn and Lenntu. Geo seemed to have shrugged it off all on his own. We then took a couple hits of magic healing wands each to clear up the damage from the fireballs.
We continued on to the next chamber, finding a meditation room of sorts filled with piled up scrolls and tomes. “Juiz,” I said.
“Understood. Noblesse Oblige.” My armor separated from me and Juiz began analyzing the surrounding writings.
“ETA for full analysis?”
“Estimated time to process entire room, eight minutes.”
“Excellent.” How did I ever get along without my own AI?
We worked our way through the other artifacts in the room. There was a sadly non-magical peacock statue made entirely of gold, so we tossed that in one of our bags. There was also a corpse propped up in one corner. Looked like this was the wizard whose simulacra had attacked us. He was clutching a mirror and wearing some extremely valuable robes. EVIL robes, at that. I’d only ever seen Robes of the Archmagi once before, back when I was studying. One of the administrators had a set.
I think his were neutral, despite what some of the professors said about him.
So, yeah, we stripped the corpse. I’d break those down later for a huge chunk of magicite. We also took his mirror. Obviously, he didn’t need it anymore. He didn’t need his belt, cloak or any of the other magic equipment he was wearing, either.
Passing through the meditation room, we found the most horrible thing I had seen since coming to Golarion. Aurora could sense my dismay. “Kyle, are you okay?”
“They burned them.”
“I know.”
“Why? Why would they do that?”
“I couldn’t say.”
I felt tears welling up as I stared out over the ashes of what had once been a great library. I dropped to my knees before one of the great bookshelves and reached out to touch the ashes. I tried using magic to repair them, but the books were too far gone.
For all I knew, what I needed to get home had been here. That alone was enough to anger me. But beyond even selfish concerns was the fact that centuries of knowledge had likely been lost. That put me at a place beyond anger. I had transcended rage and an eerie calm came over me.
One book, protected by magic, managed to survive. We found it buried in the ashes by following its magic aura. It was a tome that permanently imbued its first reader with boosted force of personality. Well, Paulie used that to cast his spells, so we gave it to him to read.
Eight minutes had passed, so Juiz reattached the armor to me and returned my magic bag, now filled with the books and scrolls from the meditation room. At least those had been saved. “Report,” I told her.
“The man whose corpse we found was known as Vraxeris. He had learned that the Runelord Karzoug was beginning to awaken, so he had begun putting together a plan to kill the runelord and use his wealth to find a way to awaken his own master, Runelord Xanderghul. He believed that the Runewell used to preserve Karzoug could be found in ancient Xin-Shalast, located on the mountain Mhar-Massif.”
“Why hadn’t he gone?”
“He was in the process of preparing a counter for the occlusion field that surrounds the upper reaches of Xin-Shalast, as well as preparing a steed to carry him up there, when a degenerative neurological condition ended his life.”
“Tell us more about the counter he had planned.”
“He believed that if a weapon were imbued with the combined powers of Runelords Sorshen and Xanderghul, it would be able to pierce the occlusion field. To this end, he had made an alliance with someone called Delvahine, the ruler of the wing of the Runeforge complex associated with Lust.”
“How does one create such a weapon?” Aurora asked.
“By using the Runeforge. Submerge a weapon within the waters and add objects that are tied to the power of the wings. Vraxeris believed that shards of the mirrors here would work for his wing, while what would be required from the wing of Lust would likely be something he euphemistically called Delvahine’s ‘equipment’. Likely devices of a sexual nature.”
So, we just dunked in a weapon and tossed in some mirror fragments and a magical dildo. Right. Still, that made me wonder if other combinations were possible. Perhaps counters for each of the seven Thassilonian specializations? “Tell us about his neurological condition.”
“Some kind of dementia caused by a genetic defect. He had suffered the condition two hundred and four times previous. Each time, he had escaped his body into a clone he had created through a customized and advanced clone spell.”
“Kyle!” Kira pleaded urgently.
“I know.” It could be the research we needed to find a way to create a body for my sister and get her out of my brain. “Were his notes about the spell among the saved tomes?”
“Affirmative.”
“Index those and save them for me. I want to research this later.”
“Acknowledged.”
“Tell us about the steed he was preparing.”
“Through an agent of Delvahine, he managed to acquire a mare. After hours of painstaking research, he enchanted her with powerful, permanent alterations. She is no Pegasus, though she has wings and can fly via magical means. He was unable to control her, however, so he imprisoned her in a mirror in his room.” That had to be Rainbow Dash.
“Any other relevant information?”
“I have indexed one more piece of information as likely relevant. Vraxeris planned to leave the Runeforge via what he called a ‘master circle’ that can be found within the wing associated with wrath.” That made sense. Though I did wonder why not put the easy exit in the center of the complex.
As we continued our search, we found rooms filled with dead, naked clones. Aurora said what we were all thinking. “Well, that’s creepy.”
We opened the final door to find a room filled with mean, dilapidated furniture, a large freestanding mirror and six relaxing, naked succubi. Not six individuals, though. Six of the same succubus. “Well,” I said softly to Aurora. “This is awkward.”
At that moment, the shrunken head Lenn wears around his neck decided to go off. “I LIKE HOOKERS!”
Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. The six succubi let out an unholy screech and began attacking. One began by singing. They weren’t just succubi. They were bards. In the halls of wizards, they sent bards to fight us.
Bards. I unleashed a burst of radiant light right on the singer. She screeched in anger. Aurora intercepted one of her sisters who had rushed to attack me, punching her right in the face. They seemed to be doing their best to stay away from Lenn and Lenntu, but one of them used a magical charm on Geo.
If I had cast such a spell, it would have convinced my target that I was a dear friend. They would see me as trustworthy and would instill a sense of loyalty in my target. It would be much the same for most any wizard. But this was a succubus who had cast it. Instead of loyalty, it inspired lust.
The succubus cowered behind Geo. “You won’t let these mean people hurt me, will you?” She gave him her best doe-eyed look.
He appraised her, tracing a lanky finger across each part as he spoke. “Of course not. You’re far too lovely. Just look at those beautiful cheekbones. And that slight ridge on your eye socket. The sharp, perfect bones in your shoulders. Your perfect sternum running between your well defined ribcage. No. I’d never let them harm you.”
His voice dripped with desire. And suddenly I was very aware that he was still in his mutated form, with the personality change that came with it. A personality we knew very little about. The succubus hadn’t caught on to the danger, but I was more than a little terrified. “Thank you,” she said. “Please keep them away from us.” At least, I think that’s what she had started to say. But she didn’t finish the sentence, because Geo interrupted her.
“I must have your perfect skeleton for my collection.”
Her eyes went wide as, in one deft, practiced motion, Geo’s hand shot into her abdomen, under the ribcage and up into her chest. His arm disappeared til above the elbow. She cried out in pain as his muscles tensed and he crushed her heart in his hand. He gently lowered her to the ground, whispering for her not to struggle as the life faded from her eyes.
As she reached the ground, her form collapsed into snow. Great, another simulacra. We all – us and the succubi – stared in horror at what we had just witnessed. Then Lenn broke the silence as he charged with a roar.
“WHY?” he swung his axe, instantly destroying the second succubus. “IS?” he killed another. “EVERYONE?” And another. “SNOW?!” A fourth fell. Aurora dropped the final one as she tried to escape. Only I was paying enough attention to hear Lenn mutter, “I want to be snow.” His face was pouting.
I couldn’t help it. The absurdity of it all. First Geo, now this? I burst into laughter. Aurora joined me. Then Lenntu and Paulie. Finally, Lenn started laughing.
After several moments, Lenn stopped laughing. “Why are we laughing?” he roared, causing me to laugh all the harder.
After a bit longer, I finally regained my composure. “Lenn, Lenntu, would you two carry that big mirror into the main hall?” I then leapt into Aurora’s arms like a princess. “Carry me so I don’t have to look at the library again?” She rolled her eyes and laughed, but carried me as I shut my eyes.
In the main hall, I prepared a spell and awaited the arrival of the men with the big mirror. It took them a bit longer than expected, as they’d had some trouble navigating a corner with the massive thing. As they set it up, Aurora asked, “So, why did we have to bring the mirror in here?”
“Because Dashie’s gonna need some room to stretch her wings, of course.”
“Right. How could I forget? This has to be another one of your strange horses.”
I broke the enchantment on the mirror, releasing the horse within. Her coat was bright blue and her mane and tail were prismatic. She eyed me suspiciously. She obviously hadn’t had good experiences with wizards. It’s possible that growing those wings had been extremely painful.
“What?” I asked. “I was just looking for someone to race.” She obviously recognized the word ‘race’, because she whinnied and stomped eagerly. “Thought so,” I said, casting a flight spell on myself and drinking a speed potion. “Dear, call the race start?”
Once more my wife rolled her eyes, but she did a three second countdown and we were off. Obviously, I wasn’t as fast as a horse. I especially wasn’t as fast as a horse that had been gifted with magical flight and speed. But I did well enough. Winning hadn’t been the objective. The race itself was.
When it was done, I gushed enthusiastically about how awesome it had been. I then held out my fist, and the horse gently kicked it. Aurora gave me one of those looks that said that I had done something weird. “Brohoof, yo,” I explained. She still didn’t get it. That’s okay. Good marriages always have their quirks. I was ours. I patted Rainbow Dash on the neck. “The place we’re in is too small for you to really fit. I’d like to put you to sleep for a bit and shrink you down. Then, once we’re somewhere you have room to really fly about, I’ll wake you up. Deal?”
She snorted and then nuzzled me and Aurora, so I took that as a yes. Using a wand, I shrank her down into a tiny stone figure and carefully put her in my pack. “So, we’re heading into the Halls of Lust next?” Aurora asked innocently. I couldn’t resist.
“Dear! I’m shocked at you! That’s for tonight, not in front of all these witnesses!”
She caught my innuendo and turned beet red. “Kyle!”
I dipped her back and gave her a kiss. It wasn’t particularly long or passionate, more love than lust, really. At least, that was the intention. She was having none of that and held me there for several passionate moments longer than I had intended. Lenntu led the others in breaking a mirror and gathering up the fragments we’d need in an attempt to give us privacy.
Once I had her back on her feet, she giggled and booped my nose.
Women.
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