The group continued making its way down the tunnel and as they did so, they heard a strange gurgling noise and a lot of splashing. “That sounds like the troll from the plague house,” Kermit whispered as he began creeping towards the sound.
The grippli was correct, and soon they spotted the troll torturing a familiar looking orc within an underground pool. “Please! It’s not my fault your sister died! There were too many of them!” the orc pleaded between sessions of having his head held under the water by the irate flood troll. “Skreed! Help!”
The party watched the scene, they noticed tracks leading to the south that appeared to belong to some kind of animal. The path to the north contained boot prints. Jazier sighed quietly. “Let’s not go north,” he said. “I bet there has to be some kind of mess I’ll be told to clean up.”
“Interesting,” Rodd Rigez whispered. “I’m going to go check it out. Wait here.”
Sneaking through the darkness, he soon came to an area where the natural stone and dirt floor smoothed out, giving way to worked stone. The walls did the same. It was clear that someone had put time into this. And where people put time into working stone in places like this, that usually meant treasure, in the man’s experience.
But it also meant traps. And no sooner had he approached a large statue when it began to move, and even in the darkness, Rodd Rigez could see that it was an animated skeleton. And if that hadn’t been bad enough, a pair of shadowy rats fell out of its ribcage. “Well, shit,” he breathed, dodging as the skeleton swung the two halves of a massive broken spear at him.
Back at the edge of the water, the others had decided to intervene. Gwen opened the attack with a shot, getting the troll’s attention. The orc took the opportunity to get a breath. “Please! Help me!”
Kurst loosed an arrow and Lucky Days charged, causing the troll to drop the orc and react. Meanwhile, Rodd Rigez was fleeing for his life, dropping caltrops as he ran.
Kermit charged forward, grabbing the troll with both claws. The jaw of his suit unhinged and he tore off the troll’s face with a massive bite before dropping the limp corpse in the water.
The orc struggled towards the shore of the pool and lie there for a moment. Qumeel approached. “You were the one who set up that bear trap, weren’t you?” He stabbed his blade into the ground next to the orc’s head. “I was NOT fond of that trap.”
The orc was so out of it from lack of oxygen that he didn’t even realize what was said. “Thanks for saving me.”
Valbrand reached into the shallow water and yanked the orc out. “Let’s get you on the shore,” he said with a good natured laugh.
From the north, they heard a cry. “GOBLIN TEA PARTY!”
“What’s a goblin tea party?” Gwen asked.
“Rodd’s in trouble,” Kermit said, rushing off in that direction.
“It means there’s a large monster and a number of smaller monsters,” Valbrand explained, casually tossing the orc on the ground. The injured orc grunted in pain as he landed. “Like a teapot and a bunch of accompanying teacups flying at your head.”
“So it’s big? Then I’ll aim high.” Gwen shot into the darkness in the direction of the sounds.
As she shot, Lucky Days ran into the darkness to help her Coach. Kurst was startled by the speed of the girl as she blasted past him, seemingly unslowed by the muddy ground. She reached the injured man, the ghostly rats hissing at her in the darkness. “Eww!” the girl shrieked.
“What’s going on?” Jazier asked, absentmindedly imbuing Gwen’s gun with the power of lightning.
Lucky Days grabbed the injured man and rushed away, receiving a slash across her arm for her trouble. “Ghost rats and a big skelly man!” she huffed.
Gwen attempted another shot, but her gun jammed. “Fall back!” she said. Valbrand stepped up and raised his shield to cover the retreat, just beyond the edge of the tiled floor, nodding at Kermit as the grippli bounded past.
Then something strange happened. The rats continued past the edge of the tiles to engage the waiting warrior, but the giant skeleton stopped in the torchlight, not stepping beyond the worked floor. “It’s not following,” Gwen noted as Jazier zapped a rat with a jolt of electricity.
They made quick work of the rats, who turned to goop as they fell. They then took time recovering from their wounds and formulated a plan. “It’s workable,” Rodd Rigez commented. “But are you sure you wouldn’t rather we do Throbbing Minstrel?”
“I would like to do something that doesn’t involve having to shave off all of my shorthairs,” Valbrand answered.
“I’m just saying it would work.”
“So will this,” Kermit said, donning his suit and grabbing the rock marked with the language of giants, which had been coated in the remaining Goblin Sap and a sticky substance. Valbrand then hurled a lasso into the corridor and the grippli shot off into the darkness.
The giant skeleton reanimated and struck the grippli, but he managed to stuff the rock into its ribcage, getting it stuck where the giant’s heart would have been. He then took a second blow, but let the momentum of this one send him flying backwards, towards the waiting lasso.
“Now!” the grippli shouted as he de-powered and landed in the circle. Valbrand, Lucky Days and Kurst yanked with all their might and pulled him quickly to safety. Then, as soon as the skeleton followed into the torch’s light, Jazier sparked the Goblin Sap, setting off a powerful explosion.
The skeleton reeled, but was still moving. “Ragathiel, grant me your blessing,” Qumeel prayed, brandishing his blade and pointing it at the ceiling above the skeleton. At first, nothing happened, but then the cracks caused by the explosion spidered outward, and a large stone fell on the undead foe.
It seemed to be downed, but Gwen wasn’t taking any chances. She fired several rounds into the fallen enemy, making sure its skull was thoroughly destroyed before she was satisfied.
“Okay,” Rodd Rigez said. “I’ll admit that worked pretty well. Anyway, I think I saw some valuables in there, and a trail of blood leading to a door. Shall we?”
After a quick bit of graverobbing, they followed the trail of blood through a door and down another corridor. As they moved, the sounds of shrieking echoed ahead. They crept quietly until they reached another door. This one was open, and inside, they spotted a group of five red-painted goblins who seemed to be arguing with a pair of orcs who seemed to have two powerful dire wolves on their side. Beyond them was what appeared to be a giant statue on the wall. One of the orcs was studying it.
Jazier quietly chanted to detect magic and his head swam with the power emanating from within the room. “Whoa. This room is most heinous, bro.”
“What?” Rodd Rigez whispered.
“What?” Jazier answered, too confused to remember what he’d said.
“This is da kween’s treasure!” one of the goblins shrieked.
“No, this is my queen’s treasure,” the larger orc argued.
“Get them!” the goblin yelled. Two of his companions leapt onto the back of one of the wolves, but one was immediately thrown.
The group of adventurers nodded to each other, then Lucky Days led the charge as Gwen fired. The orc who had been studying the statue turned. “Gorn! I told you to watch the door!” He whistled and the trained wolves turned their focus on the new arrivals.
Lucky Days crossed the distance, slashing Gorn in the stomach. He put one hand on his belly to hold in his slippery organs and swung with his blade. From behind the goblins, Qumeel charged, swinging at the nearest foe. But he missed as he slipped on a rock while he ran.
Jazier continued chanting, and he saw a vision of a giant, shadowy creature, reeking of necromantic magic, where the others saw the statue. “That’s…whoa.”
Valbrand watched the opening of the fight, and as he did, a terrible yet glorious idea formed in his mind. He grinned as he clapped a hand on Rodd Rigez’s shoulder. “Stay hidden, old friend.” He then strode into the chamber and bellowed out a song.
“Goblin smash and goblin fight
Goblins beat them with their might
Wolves are dogs beneath the furs
Stab them, stab them, stab those curs!”
As he sang, he infused his song with power. The goblins, hearing his words, were moved to a frenzy and began to roar as they attacked the wolves. The wolves continued their attack on the party, and Kermit was pulled from his feet, but the wolf was unable to go in for the kill with the goblins attacking it.
The other wolf spun and bit at Lucky Days, who was also dodging the accidentally thrown kidney that Gorn had hurled at her when he tried to swing his blade. The great beast got a flank full of small arrows for its inattention and howled in rage.
Jazier continued probing the magic in the room, and he realized that the eye of the statue was projecting something, but the shadows were blocking it. “There’s something in the eye!” he said as he turned to Valbrand and Rodd Rigez, neither of whom were there anymore. “Hey, where’d you go?!”
The orc in charge – Valbrand assumed he had to be Skreed – hurled a bomb at Lucky Days. She managed to turn her head and avoid the full on blow, but was quite singed by the flames. And that was all Valbrand needed to continue his song. So he did, eying the gold clad hammer in the hand of the statue, which would make a fine trophy of this fight.
“Goblins win and take the perks!
Take the boomies from the orcs!”
The wolf spun at the goblin archers, only to find Qumeel waiting for him. The cleric swung with all his might, and the wolf’s head went flying through the air. “Magic man! Fire sword!” the goblin archers cheered in triumph. Or at least, two of them did. They didn’t notice that their companion had been stabbed in the back by the hidden Rodd Rigez, who was now holding the goblin up like a puppet.
On the other side of the room, Kermit flailed against his attacker, managing to tear open the beast’s belly, its organs pouring out with a wet sound. The two goblins cheered and began helping pull him out from under the fallen foe.
Kurst made his way past the falling wolves and Lucky Days’ foe to reach Skreed, who greeted him with a smirk. “I’d hoped to run into you. It’s possible you’ll win here. And you may kill me, but I doubt you’ll have as much fun as I did killing your brother. It was easy. Like killing a baby.”
Gorn spun and slashed Kurst in the back. His armor took most of the blow, but it still hurt, and blood still flowed. Jazier walked into the room. “What happened here?” he asked, surveying the carnage for a second before deciding it didn’t matter and hurling a bolt of lightning at the darkness enshrouding the statue. The lightning hit the hammer, and some of the gold flaked off, revealing the sigil of Minderhall, a god of the giants.
Valbrand continued to sing as he marched forward.
“Swarm them, swarm them,
Take their stuff
Show them that
Goblins are tough!”
One of the goblin archers turned to his friend, and noticed the man holding the goblin up, but before he could react, a bullet struck the flaming sword swinging at him, and exploded into buckshot. Kermit caught the signal and grabbed the goblins helping him to his feet. He hurled one into the wall. The impact burst its head open, sending brains splattering everywhere. He then took the other to the fallen wolf and stuffed it in the dead beast’s mouth. The last thing it saw was a giant canine tooth ripping through its eye and into its brain.
The final goblin turned in time for Rodd to grab him and kiss him on the forehead as his knife pierced his heart. It didn’t know what was happening as it died. Only that it was cold.
Jazier blasted again, his lighting bolt flying over Lucky Days, who had downed Gorn, and the fight between Kurst and Skreed. It struck the hand of the statue, which he could now tell was the armor clad skeleton of a giant, and caused it to crumble. The hammer fell from its hand, striking Skreed in the back of the head.
The orc collapsed, dazed, his weapon tumbling to the floor. Kurst closed the distance and drove his blade through the orc’s neck with both hands. “I think you were wrong,” he told his fallen foe. “That was pretty satisfying.”
His song and the battle done, Valbrand walked over and inspected the hammer. As he picked it up, it shrunk fitting his hand perfectly. “This is a fine thing,” he said. It wasn’t fancy now that the gold plating was gone. Indeed, it was very simple, but he could tell that there might be no better made hammer in existence. It was magical, that was for certain, and as he studied it with his own magic, it was clear it was beyond any normal magic weapon.
“This was held by a god,” he said, giving it a couple test swings. “It will serve me well.” He turned to the others. “Unless one of you wishes to challenge my claim to it?”
“Hammers aren’t my style,” Rodd Rigez answered.
“I have my claws,” Kermit agreed.
“Sakura-chan would get jealous if I used another weapon,” Lucky Days added.
“All you,” Kurst said. He looked at the corpse of Skreed. “I got what I came here for, though I didn’t know I would find it.”
“We should get that gem up there,” Jazier said, oblivious to the conversation.
Kermit climbed up and pried the gem from the skull of the giant. He then tossed it to Jazier, who inspected the gem, which was milky white and appeared to be merely half of a larger stone. “So, what does it do?”
The wizard shrugged. “I have no idea,” he said, tucking it into his bag. “So, can we go, or do I have to clean up this mess first?”
Kermit, back to being small, hopped up on Valbrand’s shoulder. “No, I think we should head back. I left Glenn up on the surface.”
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